Tag Archives: relationships

BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021: Why Our Pursuit of Happiness is Flawed

Episode: BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021

Topic 1: Why our pursuit of happiness may be flawed.

Extract: What do you want from life? You’ve probably had the opportunity and the cause to ask yourself that question recently. Perhaps you want to spend more time with your family, or get a more fulfilling and secure job, or improve your health. But why do you want those things?

Chances are that your answer will come down to one thing: happiness.

“Happiness is not an emotional state so much as it is the excellence of the relations we cultivate with other people.”

worklifefeed_BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021
credit: Mike Kemp/ Getty Images

A life with loving attachments has been shown to be linked to happiness but it can also cause us great pain.”

Like the two quotes above, is life too a bed of contradictions?

Topic 2: How ’15-minute cities’ will change the way we socialise.

Extract: When the pandemic shuttered city centres, he says, it showed how important social links are – but through a different prism. “Many people never visited shops close to their homes before because they were busy. They didn’t know their neighbours or the parks nearby. The pandemic made us discover this. We have rediscovered locality, and this has improved quality of life.”

credit: City of Paris

The two-month lockdown that began confined her to a 1km radius of her home gave her a nuanced, enriching view of her neighbourhood. “I discovered it’s possible to feel like you’re in a small village in Paris,” she says.

“To get to know your neighbours, to maintain good links with shopkeepers, to favour local craftsmen and shops over large supermarkets. I even joined a citizens’ movement where people prepare food baskets for homeless people. I thought I would have a hard time living the lockdown, but I was perfectly at home, in a quiet place.”

“We know sometimes large cities can be tiring and can create a sense of anonymity,”

 “Unexpectedly, this experience strengthened the bonds I had with some people. It led me to criss-cross the small streets of my district more than usual and thus to discover magnificent places just a stone’s throw from my home.”

The ‘15-minute city. The concept is to improve the quality of life by creating cities where everything a resident needs can be reached within a quarter of an hour by foot or bike. The 15-minute city requires minimal travel among housing, offices, restaurants, parks, hospitals, and cultural venues. Each neighbourhood should fulfil six social functions: living, working, supplying, caring, learning, and enjoying.

Topic 3: The saboteurs you can hire to end your relationship

credit: Alamy

Extract: In Japan, you can pay private agents called ‘wakaresaseya’ to seduce your spouse or their partner.

Hiring a wakaresaseya helps you avoid confrontation. It’s a way in the short term of resolving a difficult situation without conflict. There’s a market for everything in Japan. This includes a variety of relationship-based services like renting faux family members. There are additional services offered by wakaresaseya firms, such as assistance with romantic reconciliation, separating a child from an unsuitable girlfriend or boyfriend, or preventing revenge porn.

The continuing existence of the wakaresaseya industry suggests that money and deception may be uncomfortably threaded into relationships more often than people recognise.


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Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series. BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021

The Power Of Personal Profile – Warwick Business School

THE POWER OF PERSONAL PROFILE - WARWICK BUSINESS SCHOOL_wbs

There is a lot of power and developmental transformation that you can mine from your personal profile if you can just give it the right attention and focus.

Your personal profile is beyond what is written. It is beyond the personal descriptive statement that you put on your social media ‘DP’ or on your resume. It is what characterize who you are, your accomplishments, strength and skills. This is about your future riding on your past.

Personal profile can be one of the most powerful elements in your business armoury, but you have to know what tools and techniques will help you build it, protect it and drive your success. Culturally, many of us are brought up not to “toot our own horns” or “shout about our successes.” But in today’s highly competitive world, if you don’t stand out, you’re likely to watch those with a higher profile pass you by on their way to the top. 

Throughout this interactive and practical session, Vanessa will share stories from her career; starting in Banking in the City at 16 and her rise to the C-suite. 

Vanessa will provide the top tips she’s picked up in corporates, as an entrepreneur and as a network leader, and encourage you to become comfortable with raising your profile.

The Power of Profile – Toot Your Horns

THE POWER OF PERSONAL PROFILE - WARWICK BUSINESS SCHOOL
  • How to stop feeling like an imposter
  • How to focus on your personal brand and exhibit leadership behaviours
  • The importance of networking and building relationships for the future
  • Speed networking – Getting to know your fellow guests
  • Optimising your digital footprint 
  • Coach, Mentor, Sponsor – who can help you drive your career
  • The importance of giving back. 

Vanessa will provide guidance on a wide array of profile -raising opportunities that are easy to implement straight away.

She’ll help you take the next steps towards raising your profile and attracting opportunities to progress in your career and help others too.

Interested?

The Power of Personal Profile: Event Date: 25 November 2020

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Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.

How Family And Friends Disconnections Impacts Life

worklifebalance_how missed family and friends connections impacts life

“Hello, friends. It has been awhile, but it is so nice to see you here.” That is Danielle Davis announcing her return back to the writing circuit on Pointless Overthinking. She had been away for awhile and was about to share her experiences of how family and friends disconnections impacts life, her life.

“Throughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and desire to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely. Our delusion of being separate from one another, of being apart from all that is around us, gives rise to all of this pain.”

SHARON SALZBERG

I Want To Be Real – Quirky And Messy – No Mask On

I have been thinking lately about connections. More specifically human connections. I think I have wandered through much of my life taking for granted human connection and how important it is to a healthy and happy state of mind.

Do not get me wrong. Some of the connections I have made over the years have definitely NOT been in my best interest (exes, needy “friends,” toxic bosses, etc).

For this discussion, I am talking about those connections that replenish us. Those ones that create safe spaces for us to let our hair down. I am speaking of relationships that allows us to be who we truly are. Not the ones that makes us wear masks or squeeze ourselves into uncomfortable boxes. The desire here, are relationships that allows our true selves, quirky, messy and neurotic in all of our glory.

Stepping Out Into A New Beginning

I grew up in a little town outside of Rochester, NY, and I could not get out of my hometown fast enough. It felt like everyone was always in my business. Or had an opinion of me and how I should live my life. And they were not afraid to share their thoughts with me. It was unbearable and I just wanted OUT.

So, in 2001, I started travel nursing. I did not travel too far at first, only to the next city for a while.

Then, when I got a little braver I accepted an assignment in a big city 7 hours away. That led to a bigger move to a few states south of where I grew up.

Each assignment was 13 weeks long. So I did not have to stick around for too long in any one place if I did not want to. I met loads of people and had so much fun.  Every new place I went, I reinvented myself. Shedding the labels and expectations of all those that I have left behind.

It was AWESOME. Finally, I felt free from all the judgement of others. It was incredible to experience and learn all that I did. And it was – if I am being completely honest – at times excruciatingly lonely. Like “huddle-up-in-a-ball-on-the-floor-and-cry-at-night” kind of lonely. This did not happen often, but it happened enough times to leave a mark. But at that time in my life, the good times decidedly outweighed the bad.

Stepping Back Into The Old – Family And Friends Disconnections

Eventually, after 6 years of traveling, I got homesick. At the same time, an opportunity to be on a cardiac surgery team in my hometown opened up. I had always wanted to learn cardiac surgery, so back home I went.

It felt funny to be home. Everything seemed just a little smaller. It was familiar, yet alien to me all at the same time. I worked a lot, and ended up in an awful relationship. Sadly, I also fought with my mother pretty much the entire time.

Despite my growth, she and so many others still saw me as the anchor-less, screw-up that I had been my whole life. I had changed, but many people still saw me with the same labels they had previously slapped on me. It lasted three and a half years.

Then I felt that if I did not get the hell out of the environment, I was going to die. That was an actual thought in my head, “I would rather be dead than be here.”

I packed up my dog, my clothes and shoes and moved 3,500 miles away. That was 11 years ago. That move quite literally may have saved my life. But it was the biggest ripping away of all I knew and was.

My Life Was Complete – But Was It?

I rewrote my life and learned to survive on my own. I focused on my career, and paid my bills. Things were going well, and I made lots of incredible friends. To spice up life, I went on amazing vacations and eventually met the love of my life. My life was complete – but was it? My family and friends disconnections from me was blurred because some other things temporarily took their place.

Back in 2019 (which after 2020 feels like it was 100 years ago), when we were living in the Bay Area, I found out that my father had passed away. We were not close. Nevertheless, it still felt strange to have a piece of my past cease to exist. We also found out that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had some health challenges back on the east coast.

My brother and his family, who live in New York, were sending my niece off to school. I missed my best friend, who also lives in New York. And whom I only saw once every year or two. I started to become consciously aware of this feeling of missing out on things … a feeling of dis-CONNECTION.

A Great Reset – How Family And Friends Disconnections Impacts Life

The final straw for me was last December. My husband and I had great jobs, jobs of a lifetime really. We were successful and had a beautiful apartment only 20 miles outside of downtown San Francisco. We had a good life.

Then, one morning, tragedy struck. I went to work only to find out that one of my staff had been tragically killed the night before. A drunk driver hit him on the way home from his evening shift.

His wife also worked for me and she was in my office trying to find out where he was. Wondering why he hadn’t come home. When her phone rang, I watched while she was told the news. I watched her drop the phone and crumple to the floor. In a moment, practically her whole life and everything she had known shattered around her.

What If This Was Either One Of Us?

I picked up the phone and spoke to the man from the coroner’s office. Got contact information so someone could identify the body and make arrangements for the funeral home. It was one of the most heart-breaking and impactful things I have ever experienced in my life.

I went home that night and spoke to my husband, Mike. He was nearly as shocked as I was. The questions started to roll through our minds, that which makes you take a fearful glance at someone and quickly avoid the eye connection. What if this was either one of us? What would the other person do? We have “friends” in the city, but we are so far from our family and real friends. It became obvious that actually, we have no one close to us. No one that can help us pick up the pieces of our life if such an incident happens to one of us.

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.

MOTHER THERESA

We started talking in earnest about our priorities and what changes we needed to make in our lives. It was time to re-CONNECT.

Reconnecting Back With Family And Friends

My husband and I are both from the northeast and we had absolutely zero interest in living anywhere that would ever have snow in the forecast. We therefore decided to move near my in-laws in Tampa.

I took some time off from work after the move. This is so we could just focus on friends and family. Despite COVID-19, we have gotten to spend more time with our friends and family. Actually, in the past 8 months, we had spent more time with family and our real friends than we had in the past couple of years. We had successfully bridged our previous family and friends disconnections.

Our hearts are full, and life feels complete. I feel the connections I had unknowingly been missing for some time. Just being in the same time zone has been a game changer for phone calls and text messages.

I Missed Them, They Missed Us, Life Is Good

I do not want to try to sell you some fairy tale ending here, that is not what this is about. Families are not perfect because people are not perfect. But I will tell you this now with better conviction. I am 100% certain that if Mike or I, had something tragic befall us, our family and real friends would be there in a heartbeat. The same way we would for them. I missed them, they missed us, life is good.

I hope you enjoyed my post! Please let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you!! Light and love to you and yours.

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Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.

Working Dads Battles And The Burden To Provide

WORKING DADS BATTLES AND THE BURDEN TO PROVIDE_Worklife

Working dads would always feel they have more battles to contend with than working moms. The narrative that gender pay imbalance makes the working mum – who earns less – to more likely drop off work because the man earns more may be true. But that is not the whole story.

Given an option, a man will love to relax at home and not go to work. Hanging out and having fun with the boys will be like play-watching a professional league game. Working dads wants to do some other fun stuffs too – not just go to work and earn a living for the family. But that should not include any – or a lot of – home or child care responsibilities. This type of man or working dads is real and do exist, but rarely the conventional real man. And such men will form a very minute percentage of men. Now don’t roll those eyes looking down at your man or your self – if you are a man reading this.

Just as a woman or working moms have that natural tendency to take care of the home and the children, so do real men. But real men and working dads go into battles too. They have moments of low self esteem and doubt over their manliness, especially if they cannot provide for their family.

Working Dads Battles And Working Moms Love

Just when the post, working moms battles and the mental health toll was off to press, LinkedIn was prompting me to review a post by Andrew. Andrew’s post, why you feel the burden to provide is about a dad who is “celebrating” a milestone. Guess what it is. He was having the last of four kids turn 18! He was glad that he would no longer be the “parent” of any children, since they are now all adults.

Andrew got my attention when he wrote, “I think it was because of the incredible pressure I used to feel to provide for the family, whilst doing work that frankly had little meaning for me. I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep it up. To hang on until this milestone date in the future. Of course as parents, we never stop loving and caring for our kids. But I honestly wondered if I would be able to make it through all those commutes and meetings where I didn’t want to be.”

Speaking on behalf of real men, I will say, that statement by Andrew just feel so normal for many working dads. I then remembered some honest quotes about fatherhood from Ben Affleck. It added spice to my thought on this. Ben said, “Fatherhood has made me more sensitive and probably more caring, in a way. I always thought I was a caring guy, but it has made me feel things more acutely.”

When The Battles Without Shifts To The Battles Within

Usually, almost like normal, couples take on each other, tear each other apart and fight like the enemy is within. At that point, we all wonder, where was the first love? Mr. Pay Slip and Mrs. Professional Career that took back seats when love was in the air are the new bosses. Dictating what decision is right to take. What feelings to have.

It is not a crime to suspend judgement on what could possible go wrong in a relationship when that first love crush hit. When there are light sparkles in the air, colorful stars in the sky and live bands music playing just for two.

Recently, through the building relationships podcast, I was listening to Dr. Gary Chapman answer some questions on radio. I was reminded that the initial ‘crazy love feeling’ only last a while. We all need to keep working on our relationships for it to keep the shine.

Now, I don’t want to get off track and start to talk about Dr. Chapman’s Five Love Languages. But remember this, Work-Family balance was already tough enough. Then the pandemic hit.

Don’t Crash Your Ride, There Is Help Hanging Out With Good ‘Real’ Men

Real man, do you feel burdened and insufficient providing for your family? And we are not just talking about the financials. But also about the emotional needs of everyone in the family, including your spouse. You can be feeling discouraged and less appreciated, especially by everyone who should be cheering you on. Though you are doing your best grinding at a work that seems not to have any meaning for you?

Are you wondering if men can have work-life or work-family balance? You may want to check out the Good Men Project. And get involve in the type of men’s conversations that no one else is having.

Working dads mental health is also very important during this period. Seek professional counselling to get some good advise to ride this storm. And, if you are feeling just a little like a boy again, here are 10 habits that you need to watch and take care of, they can change boys into men.

Now, don’t crash your ride. In the heat of working dads battles, do not place the “punches” on the working mom, your spouse. You are both scripting the greatest love story, your stories, a personal story. It is your story, whatever you want to write.

Welcome to Worklife Feed.

What To Do If Your Main Squeeze Puts Work Before Your Relationship

What To Do If Your Main Squeeze Puts Work Before Your Relationship

It is not about infidelity, but it is lonely when the one you love most puts work before your relationship. If you are considering what to do if your main squeeze is putting work before your relationship, take a deep breath. In this article, you will be presented with suggestive steps that you can take.

Your main squeeze could have failed to appear at family gatherings too many times because of work. At other times, she may have promised to spend more time with you and not delivered because work comes first.

But has he said, “I’ll quit tomorrow,” but tomorrow never comes? Or has she stood you up or kept you waiting because of work? If you answered yes to these questions, your partner may be suffering from work addiction.

What To Do If Your Main Squeeze Is Wedded To Work

Kate’s work obsession became like a weekend lover.

She lied to her family so she could rendezvous with work at the office: “I’d tell my family I was going shopping on a Saturday and I’d end up in my office working. Or I’d tell them I was going to my girlfriend’s house. After calling my girlfriend’s and not finding me, they’d call the office and say, ‘I thought you were going to Dottie’s.’ I felt like I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar.”

Recommended: Work Infidelity Sabotages Careers And Love Relationship

If you’re the mate of a workaholic, like Jena, you probably feel alone as a partner and parent, as if you’ve been left with the responsibility of holding the family together.

You feel unimportant and minimized, even innately defective, because you get so little attention from your partner. You might even harbor feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, and guilt.

Or you may live under a distinct set of unwritten and unspoken rules. Rules dictated by your mate’s work habits: Handle everything at home. Don’t expect anything from me, because I have enough on my plate at work. Put me at the center of your life and plan the household and family and social life around my work schedule. I’m depending on you to do your best, be perfect, and not let me down.

Click to read: What To Do If Your Main Squeeze Puts Work Before Your Relationship

Source: Forbes

Why Does My Relationships Makes Me Cry?

Why does my relationships makes me cry

image credit: Squarespace/Words and Vision/ Why Does My Relationships Makes Me Cry?

I cry because I feel a pain. But I also thought that I cried because I needed to unburden myself, free the load I carried. Exactly six days ago, I had felt very different about this same issue. That is, crying over my relationships. But now, I do not have the same level of pain or emotion.

So what went wrong six days ago that made me to shed tears?

I knew I felt real anguish deep within me. That was the reason why I cried and prayed in partially audible groans. Why I wept, uncontrollable.

“I cry because I care. Yes, I cry because I don’t feel heard. I cry because you only hear my cry (complaints you call it), but do not see the care.”

If I had asked you my friend, Craig, why does my boyfriend keep making me cry? Naturally, you would have said it is because he did something that I don’t like or appreciate. And you may also have asked if it is something he does unintentionally. Or perhaps if he doesn’t know that I am being hurt by him.

Recommended: Honest Quotes About Fatherhood From Ben Affleck

I felt hurt and cried because of many things that day, my relationships issues and needs. That was not the first time and I am definitely not a cry baby. Why does my relationships, our relationships, makes us cry?

How do I stop being so emotional or stop my relationship emotional dependency?

First, I do not know if I am emotionally dependent on my partner. I have never thought deeply about this or go back at any time to understand the root cause of some of my crisis.

I recently read that emotionally dependent people aren’t just insecure, they have an obsessive need to be close to and attached to other people. In my estimate, my need to be close to and be attached to my partner is right and normal. When does it become excessive or a demonstration of insecurity?

I mean, we all experience some form of insecurity. No one knows the future, and no matter how confident we strove and climb the mountains, we all have a silent fear about the future.

What I still do not understand is this stuff called, an ‘obsessive fear’ of losing love. I did not start a relationship to lose it and neither do I want to jump from one relationship to another.

I need to take extra note of some words as I try to understand better, why my relationships make me cry.

Dependency seems to be when this normal things are in the extreme, obsessive, almost-insane etc. For example, dependent people have an almost-insane fear of not being good enough.

Then comes the issue of deep-rooted childhood traumas and disappointments.

Dependency, happiness and building a castle on shifting sands

In all, no matter the source or cause, depending on others for our happiness is like building a castle on shifting sands. It is more alarming to realize that emotional dependency isn’t just a state of mind, but a verifiable psychological disorder. A state of being where a dependent person can be sufferings from “dysphoric moods” or sudden mood changes making such unpredictable and difficult to deal with.

Even though emotional dependency is said to be serious and require professional help from someone with experience in relevant trauma treatment, a few tips can initially come handy. E. B. Johnson, NLP-MP, recommends the following;

  • Practice being there for yourself.
  • Stop giving away your responsibilities (especially self care) to others.
  • Re-parent yourself.
  • Recognize your own emotional cruelty.
  • Identify and let go of self-destructive patterns.
  • Detachment as liberation.
  • Develop some patience.
  • Let go of idealistic expectations.
  • Stop confusing your needs with someone else’s responsibilities.
  • Avoid letting your desire get carried away.
  • Letting go of the need to control others.
Why does my relationships makes me cry, what can I do?

My partner makes me a wreck, not that he beats me. But I am just tired and not happy in the relationship. You ask me to confront him, yes I have. You think maybe talking to someone about it will help, sharing with someone how I feel. I have done that too. And thanks to a loving gentleman who guides and coaches me. If not for him, many times, I would have taken very wrong steps.

“I am stretched and tired. Not only that, I have given up but cannot give up.”

The issues have been identified, and they are not likely to go away. He has even raised his hands in the air and declared that he cannot help himself. He said he does not have the skills or ability to do what I am asking him to do. But this are mere responsibilities that a normal husband or man should stand up to.

Quite all right, he does far above average in the area where he is lucky (sic!) to have a comparative advantage. But even at that, in those areas, I have had to double down to assist and guide him in some critical decisions and actions. Putting my feet down on critical decisions that he ought to take. And even adding my own resources, and that for his area of comparative advantage.

An expert thought on crying

So I cry, because it is frustrating. I am doing more than my bit, so I think.

“I am crying because they serve a purpose. Tears don’t come easy, so I cry because I hurt.”

According to Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine,  “crying is an excellent way of releasing emotions and processing difficult situations.” Woman’s Day break down twelve possible reasons, experts says are the psychology behind constant crying.

These includes built-up emotions, emotional empathy, learned associations, neuroticism, depression and anxiety. Others are, early trauma, stress, personality, hormones, socialization and the PseudoBulbar affect.

“I am better,” isn’t better? “My cry bottle is fuller,” perhaps feel better

When Rose told told HuffPost, “I can’t remember an argument in which I haven’t cried, but then I’m generally a crier.” I said to myself, good girl, at least you are not a crier, but what am I?

Funny, many times, I have also been angry with my relationship with God, and that also makes me cry. Why is He keeping quiet. How come He is allowing me to go through this pains and hurts? For how long will He test me before He redeems me?

Should I be called a cry bottle filler? I am crying because they serve a purpose. Tears don’t come easy, so I cry because I hurt.

I cry to communicate to God when words fail me, he keeps track of all my sorrows. He has collected all my tears in His bottle. He has recorded each one in His book.

I cry because I care. I cry because I don’t feel heard. But for how long?

Why does my relationships makes me cry? I cry because I care. Yes, I cry because I don’t feel heard. I cry because you just hear my cry (complaints you call it), but do not see the care. If you want to know, I am stretched and tired. Not only that, I have given up but cannot give up. My journey have been very long, I have invested so much into this relationship and cannot let go now.

But for how long? And will it ever get better? Especially for a fundamentally flawed incapability in a partner. This I know, God is for me. In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man created situations and circumstances do to me?

Is it possible to make sense of what is senseless?

I was introduced to Beth Kinder by chance, and she asked me to go back thousands of years and read where a king gave an order to murder every Hebrew baby boy by drowning them in the river.

She said God described the Israelites during that time as His people. Yet mothers were having their babies ripped from their arms and murdered. Senseless… Where was God? Did those Hebrew families not honor God?

Beth then fast forward my mind to several thousand years later when another king ordered the senseless slaughter of all male children, ages two years and younger. She asked, “where was God?” After all, weren’t they still His people? Had they, too, removed God from their lives, their homes, their world?

I sense what my ‘comforter friend’ is trying to explain, but I do not agree with him.

What I do agree with is that we are all in this life bubble and are facing very different and sometimes related challenges.

When Beth said that her greatest victories, and her most catastrophic defeats have come from her little unit, called family, it resonates with me. Like her, I appreciate that there is beauty exchanged in the growing pains of family, where we must fight hard to make it work, when we would have rather quit.

Like Beth, I can no longer do any lesser.

I am promising myself that I would be for others, including my partner and friends, what I could not always find or receive. Hopefully, I will find out during this process of self discovery, that everyone has something for someone. I may have to search deeper, clean off more dirt’s, to find the hidden treasures in my life and possibly, also in my partner.

Welcome to Worklife Feed.

Super Spoiler Toxic Work Trait People Think Is Healthy

The Super Toxic Work Trait Most People Think Is Healthy—Spoiler: It's Not

You definitely do not consider yourself to have a super spoiler toxic work trait. No doubt, you are a sincere master multi-tasker. You are working super hard to earn your pay, meet your personal priorities and move ahead of no one but yourself. You are competing with no one else, but you.

What Is Super Spoiler Toxic Work Behaviour?

Without a shrug, you can take an emergency work call while pulling carpool duty (hands-free, of course). You can chow down on a family dinner while sending a few last-minute emails to the team.

“There is absolutely no such thing as work-life balance”Dr. Appleton

And you can even take a client to a yoga class so you can mark two things off your to-do list at once. But is this idea of work-life balance really healthy? Dr. Daryl Appleton, psychotherapist and Fortune 500 executive coach, actually tells us that this type of work-life overexertion is toxic.

Wait, how exactly is trying to achieve work-life balance toxic?

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Don’t agree with this, but read it twice, thrice. “There is absolutely no such thing as work-life balance,” Dr. Appleton puts bluntly. “We will never work 40 hours and then rest 40 hours. It’s impossible. This wild goose chase leaves us feeling less fulfilled and even more burnout.”

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So what’s wrong with the fallacy of work-life balance? You’re putting endless unnecessary pressure and guilt on yourself to achieve a “balance” that will never happen. The result is that you feel even more depleted. This is toxic as it keeps you in a vicious cycle where you can never win, which means you can’t grow. In a sense, chasing work-life balance traps you.

How do you know if you’re guilty of this?

Well, first of all, so many of us are guilty of this cycle. Work-life balance is preached from every corner of the corporate ladder. So you’re not alone.

And you know you’re experiencing toxic levels of it when, according to Dr. Appleton, you feel like nothing is ever accomplished.

You feel guilty about missing things in life or at work. To tick the box, you go through the motions of self-care because it’s “scheduled”, rather than because you’re actually engaged and mindfully practicing it.

Next time please! “You push off deadlines or work to do the ‘fun stuff’ and end up in a bigger work-hole. What is the fall out, you ignore your health and relationships to get work done, thinking ‘I have a vacation in a few months,’” Dr. Appleton expands.

Click here to view original web page at www.yahoo.com

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