Tag Archives: Happiness

Happiness Cannot Be Described, But Can It Be Pursued?

Happiness Cannot Be Described, But Can it Be Pursued_ worklifefeed

Some think it is time to stop pursuing happiness, and I wonder why? I would not concede that it is because happiness cannot be described or because it is unattainable. Even if it is a Utopian pursuit, it might just be possible that the cost of trying to get it, might be paid off by any benefit that may be inherent in the exercise.

Illustration by James Melaugh

Like many teenagers, I was once plagued with angst and dissatisfaction. These were feelings that my parents often met with bemusement rather than sympathy. They were already in their 50s. And, having grown up in postwar Britain, they struggled to understand the sources of my discontentment at the turn of the 21st century.

“The problem with your generation is that you always expect to be happy,” my mother once said. I was baffled. Surely happiness was the purpose of living, and we should strive to achieve it at every opportunity. I simply wasn’t prepared to accept my melancholy as something that was beyond my control.

The above last two paragraphs were by David Robson, in “Why it’s time to stop pursuing happiness,” Act 1, Scene 1.

“The constant desire to feel happier can make people feel more lonely. This can make us become so absorbed in our own wellbeing, we forget the people around us.”

Opening The Blockade to Happiness

Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, and Egypt imposed a diplomatic, trade, and travel boycott on Qatar in June 2017. The group accused Doha of supporting “terrorism” and having what they deemed, a too close a tie with Iran.

The Saudi-led coalition had alleged that Qatar violated a 2014 agreement with the members of the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC), of which Qatar is a member.

Qatar repeatedly denied the allegations and said there was “no legitimate justification” for the severance of relations.

However, in the week of 5th January 2021, all of that changed. The “blockade to happiness” – the borders – were opened. And for the first time in more than 3 years, Qataris drove across the land border into Saudi Arabia on 9th Saturday. At least 70 vehicles passed through the crossing into the Kingdom on the first day and 20 travel in the other direction.

While the “de-escalation” of the crisis may not have addressed the core disagreements between Riyadh and Doha, it provides some useful lessons. Psychologists analyzing those who crossed the border between Saudi Arabia and Doha may still insist that happiness cannot be described. But those who had the “happy” experience, knew what they felt.

Why It’s Time to Stop Pursuing Happiness

David Robson in the Guardian Newspaper article titled, “why it’s time to stop pursuing happiness” provided different perspectives on the subject. But different twists and conclusions can also be shaped by those perspectives.

Photograph: solidcolours/Getty Images/iStockphoto
  • Avoid paying constant attention to your mood so you do not miss out on enjoying everyday pleasures.
  • Don’t have such a high standard for achieving happiness, that you do not appreciate the small and simple things that are really meaningful in your life.
  • If you really want to succeed, you’d do far better to engage in “mental contrasting.” This involves combining your fantasies of success with a deliberate analysis of the obstacles in your path, and the frustrations you are likely to face.
  • Keep a “gratitude journal” to regularly count your blessings and increase your overall wellbeing. But not like a chore, or in overdose quantity. Rather, it should be something you actually enjoy doing.
  • Frequently re-assess and reset your expectations. Accept that no matter how hard you try, feelings of frustration and unhappiness will appear from time to time. And actually, in reality, certain negative feelings can serve a useful purpose.

If happiness cannot be described because the outcome is always personal, the acts to getting there can be described. Ultimately, you might adopt the old adage “Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and be unsurprised by everything in between”. Ease the pressure off yourself, and you may just find that contentment arrives when you’re least expecting it.


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Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.

BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021: Why Our Pursuit of Happiness is Flawed

Episode: BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021

Topic 1: Why our pursuit of happiness may be flawed.

Extract: What do you want from life? You’ve probably had the opportunity and the cause to ask yourself that question recently. Perhaps you want to spend more time with your family, or get a more fulfilling and secure job, or improve your health. But why do you want those things?

Chances are that your answer will come down to one thing: happiness.

“Happiness is not an emotional state so much as it is the excellence of the relations we cultivate with other people.”

worklifefeed_BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021
credit: Mike Kemp/ Getty Images

A life with loving attachments has been shown to be linked to happiness but it can also cause us great pain.”

Like the two quotes above, is life too a bed of contradictions?

Topic 2: How ’15-minute cities’ will change the way we socialise.

Extract: When the pandemic shuttered city centres, he says, it showed how important social links are – but through a different prism. “Many people never visited shops close to their homes before because they were busy. They didn’t know their neighbours or the parks nearby. The pandemic made us discover this. We have rediscovered locality, and this has improved quality of life.”

credit: City of Paris

The two-month lockdown that began confined her to a 1km radius of her home gave her a nuanced, enriching view of her neighbourhood. “I discovered it’s possible to feel like you’re in a small village in Paris,” she says.

“To get to know your neighbours, to maintain good links with shopkeepers, to favour local craftsmen and shops over large supermarkets. I even joined a citizens’ movement where people prepare food baskets for homeless people. I thought I would have a hard time living the lockdown, but I was perfectly at home, in a quiet place.”

“We know sometimes large cities can be tiring and can create a sense of anonymity,”

 “Unexpectedly, this experience strengthened the bonds I had with some people. It led me to criss-cross the small streets of my district more than usual and thus to discover magnificent places just a stone’s throw from my home.”

The ‘15-minute city. The concept is to improve the quality of life by creating cities where everything a resident needs can be reached within a quarter of an hour by foot or bike. The 15-minute city requires minimal travel among housing, offices, restaurants, parks, hospitals, and cultural venues. Each neighbourhood should fulfil six social functions: living, working, supplying, caring, learning, and enjoying.

Topic 3: The saboteurs you can hire to end your relationship

credit: Alamy

Extract: In Japan, you can pay private agents called ‘wakaresaseya’ to seduce your spouse or their partner.

Hiring a wakaresaseya helps you avoid confrontation. It’s a way in the short term of resolving a difficult situation without conflict. There’s a market for everything in Japan. This includes a variety of relationship-based services like renting faux family members. There are additional services offered by wakaresaseya firms, such as assistance with romantic reconciliation, separating a child from an unsuitable girlfriend or boyfriend, or preventing revenge porn.

The continuing existence of the wakaresaseya industry suggests that money and deception may be uncomfortably threaded into relationships more often than people recognise.


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Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series. BBC Worklife 01-08-JAN-2021

Marital Happiness: Cookie Box or Golden Recipe

MARITAL HAPPINESS

http://bit.ly/32ah1Nu
Click above link, to TAKE A LISTEN

Source:What Makes a man in Today’s World’ from Knowledge for Men Podcast with Steve Harvey.

Don’t just remember the Cookie Box alone. Real, simple, golden recipe for Men to have a long, happy marital relationship:

Recommended: BEST LAUGH ON INTIMACY AND ROMANCE

You can be Happy, or You can be Right!”

Be happy and work things out with your woman, just listen to her.

Keep trying to be right and you’ll ALWAYS end up with arguments which you will never win.

Photo Credit: Eric Ward on Unsplash

Succeeded in Zero out of 3 Happiness and Confidence Test!

I_am_enough_who_I_am_is_enough

This initially started in my head as failing in zero out of three test. But thank goodness, something from my previous learnings refused to allow a “failure” connotation to stick. Cup half full than half empty!

Without going into the technicalities of the academia which has various school of thought on how to measure happiness [Oxford Happiness Inventory (Argyle and Hill), Subjective Happiness Scale (Lyubomirsky & Lepper), Satisfaction with Life Scale (Deiner, Emmons, Larsen and Griffin), Panas Scale (Watson, Clark, Tellegen), etc], let’s just use the three simple questions below that focus on the areas that impacts my well being now. Perhaps, yours too.

So I suggest you also check how you will perform on the three test questions below.  It’s a measure of your level of confidence or happiness, at this very moment. Give each question a maximum score of 30 points.

The 3 Happiness and Confidence Test

  1. How happy or confident are you now, considering the current balance(s) in your bank account(s), compared to your immediate and short term financial needs and future wealth aspirations?
  2. How prepared are you now to manage your personal affairs without your current job, and how confident are you now in easily securing another employment, assuming you get news now of an imminent loss of your paid employment due to redundancy?
  3. How happy are you now with your level of success and how confident are you now, that you will still be a success in life, no matter how you privately define success?

What will you consider a good score out of 100? Can it be 65/100 or 65%? What is your total score? Add 10 to your total score for having the confidence to assess yourself.

Look out online for other test that may be more sophisticated and can possibly generate a report for you.

Check on the 101 Happiness Quotes collated by Henrik Edberg and the 20 Confidence Quotes by Goalcast.

Finally, do you think it’s worth it assessing our level of happiness or confidence? Have you tried to identify the key issues that makes you feel less happy or confident? What actions have you identified that you will work on within defined timeline, to improve on your current level of happiness or confidence, and in those specific areas of your life you have identified need improvement?

Am happy you came around. Am confident you will drop a comment in the box below. Why wouldn’t you? Especially when your comment can make someone happy.

”I love making you laugh because for those few seconds, I made you happy and seeing you happy, it makes me happy too”