Tag Archives: friendship

How Family And Friends Disconnections Impacts Life

worklifebalance_how missed family and friends connections impacts life

“Hello, friends. It has been awhile, but it is so nice to see you here.” That is Danielle Davis announcing her return back to the writing circuit on Pointless Overthinking. She had been away for awhile and was about to share her experiences of how family and friends disconnections impacts life, her life.

“Throughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and desire to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely. Our delusion of being separate from one another, of being apart from all that is around us, gives rise to all of this pain.”

SHARON SALZBERG

I Want To Be Real – Quirky And Messy – No Mask On

I have been thinking lately about connections. More specifically human connections. I think I have wandered through much of my life taking for granted human connection and how important it is to a healthy and happy state of mind.

Do not get me wrong. Some of the connections I have made over the years have definitely NOT been in my best interest (exes, needy “friends,” toxic bosses, etc).

For this discussion, I am talking about those connections that replenish us. Those ones that create safe spaces for us to let our hair down. I am speaking of relationships that allows us to be who we truly are. Not the ones that makes us wear masks or squeeze ourselves into uncomfortable boxes. The desire here, are relationships that allows our true selves, quirky, messy and neurotic in all of our glory.

Stepping Out Into A New Beginning

I grew up in a little town outside of Rochester, NY, and I could not get out of my hometown fast enough. It felt like everyone was always in my business. Or had an opinion of me and how I should live my life. And they were not afraid to share their thoughts with me. It was unbearable and I just wanted OUT.

So, in 2001, I started travel nursing. I did not travel too far at first, only to the next city for a while.

Then, when I got a little braver I accepted an assignment in a big city 7 hours away. That led to a bigger move to a few states south of where I grew up.

Each assignment was 13 weeks long. So I did not have to stick around for too long in any one place if I did not want to. I met loads of people and had so much fun.  Every new place I went, I reinvented myself. Shedding the labels and expectations of all those that I have left behind.

It was AWESOME. Finally, I felt free from all the judgement of others. It was incredible to experience and learn all that I did. And it was – if I am being completely honest – at times excruciatingly lonely. Like “huddle-up-in-a-ball-on-the-floor-and-cry-at-night” kind of lonely. This did not happen often, but it happened enough times to leave a mark. But at that time in my life, the good times decidedly outweighed the bad.

Stepping Back Into The Old – Family And Friends Disconnections

Eventually, after 6 years of traveling, I got homesick. At the same time, an opportunity to be on a cardiac surgery team in my hometown opened up. I had always wanted to learn cardiac surgery, so back home I went.

It felt funny to be home. Everything seemed just a little smaller. It was familiar, yet alien to me all at the same time. I worked a lot, and ended up in an awful relationship. Sadly, I also fought with my mother pretty much the entire time.

Despite my growth, she and so many others still saw me as the anchor-less, screw-up that I had been my whole life. I had changed, but many people still saw me with the same labels they had previously slapped on me. It lasted three and a half years.

Then I felt that if I did not get the hell out of the environment, I was going to die. That was an actual thought in my head, “I would rather be dead than be here.”

I packed up my dog, my clothes and shoes and moved 3,500 miles away. That was 11 years ago. That move quite literally may have saved my life. But it was the biggest ripping away of all I knew and was.

My Life Was Complete – But Was It?

I rewrote my life and learned to survive on my own. I focused on my career, and paid my bills. Things were going well, and I made lots of incredible friends. To spice up life, I went on amazing vacations and eventually met the love of my life. My life was complete – but was it? My family and friends disconnections from me was blurred because some other things temporarily took their place.

Back in 2019 (which after 2020 feels like it was 100 years ago), when we were living in the Bay Area, I found out that my father had passed away. We were not close. Nevertheless, it still felt strange to have a piece of my past cease to exist. We also found out that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had some health challenges back on the east coast.

My brother and his family, who live in New York, were sending my niece off to school. I missed my best friend, who also lives in New York. And whom I only saw once every year or two. I started to become consciously aware of this feeling of missing out on things … a feeling of dis-CONNECTION.

A Great Reset – How Family And Friends Disconnections Impacts Life

The final straw for me was last December. My husband and I had great jobs, jobs of a lifetime really. We were successful and had a beautiful apartment only 20 miles outside of downtown San Francisco. We had a good life.

Then, one morning, tragedy struck. I went to work only to find out that one of my staff had been tragically killed the night before. A drunk driver hit him on the way home from his evening shift.

His wife also worked for me and she was in my office trying to find out where he was. Wondering why he hadn’t come home. When her phone rang, I watched while she was told the news. I watched her drop the phone and crumple to the floor. In a moment, practically her whole life and everything she had known shattered around her.

What If This Was Either One Of Us?

I picked up the phone and spoke to the man from the coroner’s office. Got contact information so someone could identify the body and make arrangements for the funeral home. It was one of the most heart-breaking and impactful things I have ever experienced in my life.

I went home that night and spoke to my husband, Mike. He was nearly as shocked as I was. The questions started to roll through our minds, that which makes you take a fearful glance at someone and quickly avoid the eye connection. What if this was either one of us? What would the other person do? We have “friends” in the city, but we are so far from our family and real friends. It became obvious that actually, we have no one close to us. No one that can help us pick up the pieces of our life if such an incident happens to one of us.

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.

MOTHER THERESA

We started talking in earnest about our priorities and what changes we needed to make in our lives. It was time to re-CONNECT.

Reconnecting Back With Family And Friends

My husband and I are both from the northeast and we had absolutely zero interest in living anywhere that would ever have snow in the forecast. We therefore decided to move near my in-laws in Tampa.

I took some time off from work after the move. This is so we could just focus on friends and family. Despite COVID-19, we have gotten to spend more time with our friends and family. Actually, in the past 8 months, we had spent more time with family and our real friends than we had in the past couple of years. We had successfully bridged our previous family and friends disconnections.

Our hearts are full, and life feels complete. I feel the connections I had unknowingly been missing for some time. Just being in the same time zone has been a game changer for phone calls and text messages.

I Missed Them, They Missed Us, Life Is Good

I do not want to try to sell you some fairy tale ending here, that is not what this is about. Families are not perfect because people are not perfect. But I will tell you this now with better conviction. I am 100% certain that if Mike or I, had something tragic befall us, our family and real friends would be there in a heartbeat. The same way we would for them. I missed them, they missed us, life is good.

I hope you enjoyed my post! Please let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you!! Light and love to you and yours.

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Work Life Balance – Dispelling The Myth!

Work-Life Daily_Work Life Balance - Dispelling The Myth

Click to read: Work Life Balance – Dispelling The Myth!

Source: Aero Tech News

Snippet: I recently stepped into a new role as an executive team member at a high-tempo organization. Later, I found myself having great conversations with friends and mentors about finding a healthy work-life balance.

As we talked though our day-to-day challenges in the face of COVID-19 and shared mutual experiences, one thing became apparent — no one’s balance is exactly the same. We all often discuss this topic as if there is some perfect, universal balance that exists daily. One that we can all can obtain. But no, that is not the way it is. In reality it is unique to each of us and to different times in our lives.

You may like this; Worklife Balance or Integration – What’s the difference?

Balance can’t always be measured a day or even week at a time. Balance, like resiliency, is measured over the long haul. And part of finding this long-term healthy mindset is acknowledging the fact that the desired work-life balance may be slightly off day to day.

No family structure is the same, so by default, priorities are different. To address this balance, here are some steps to take; find activities that recharge you, communicate your boundaries, and don’t forget about you. These are three out of nine other suggestions in the Aero tech News report.

Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.


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The 9-5 Is Dead And Workplaces Will Not ‘Return To Normal’

Worklife Daily_The 9-5 is Dead And Workplaces Will Not 'Return To Normal'

Click to read: The 9-5 is Dead And Workplaces Will Not ‘Return To Normal’

Source: Daily Mail

Snippet: COVID-19 pandemic brought several fast paced changes to our daily lives, least of which is not the forced working from home. Starting initially with some few weeks of lack of clarity, months have rolled in with many working from home since then.

Google, Salesforce and Facebook are among businesses that have said that their employees can work from home until at least next summer. Microsoft and Twitter have said some staff can do so forever. On the surface, it seems that the Coronavirus have killed the traditional 9 to 5 office routine.

Recommended: In New Normal How Will We Go Back To Work? – Poll

However, a new report has claimed that the office will remain a key part of British working life. And it describes as speculation and ‘misplaced’, the idea that the office is dead.

The publication warns that workplaces ‘will not return to normal’ after the pandemic is brought under control – with employees having adapted to the ‘new normal’ of working from home during the Covid-19 lockdown.

The 9-5 Is Dead And Workplaces Are Dead – That Is Speculation And ‘Misplaced’

The report collated information and surveys from dozens of publicly available studies. It quoted one source which says that 41 per cent of remote employees reported higher levels of stress. This is high compared with 25 per cent of their counterparts who are in the office.

Another study by NordVPN that the report highlights, claimed that UK employees have been adding around two hours to each workday while working from home. This means that they have been adding an extra working week per month.

Yet another study by the International Workplace Group (IWG) claimed that 85 per cent of businesses had confirmed that productivity increased as a result of having greater flexibility. The group said that 63 per cent of those surveyed report a minimum 21 per cent improvement in productivity.

Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.


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Ireland Remote Working Hubs To Be Funded By The State

Work-Life Daily_Ireland Remote Working Hubs To Be Funded By The State

Click to read: Ireland Remote Working Hubs To Be Funded By The State

Source: The Irish Times

Snippet: The Irish Government plans to fund remote hubs in rural towns and villages over the next two years. This is part of the development of a State strategy on remote working.

Mr Varadkar, who is Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment, said the move to remote working in recent months, because of the pandemic, “probably would have taken 10 years as a planned strategy”.

Despite the fast pace of change, there is a growing concern about remote working, which is being ‘always at work.’

Sinn Féin spokeswoman, Louise O’Reilly said that “if you work from home you’re sort of always at work and sort of always at home. There needs to be a clear definition of remote working as a protected form of work.”

There is also the concern that while promoting Ireland remote working hubs, jobs do not to other countries.

Tánaiste Leo Varadkar warned that “we have to look at the risks to the country as well of people who currently live in Ireland, perhaps remote working from the Canaries, or Ibiza or Poland or India. That’s a real risk to us in terms of losing jobs”.

Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.


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For Chicagoans, Pandemic Gave A Friendship Lifeline

Work-Life Daily_For Chicagoans, Pandemic Gave A Friendship Lifeline

Click to read: For Chicagoans, Pandemic Gave A Friendship Lifeline

Source: Chicago Tribune

Snippet: As the COVID-19 pandemic tightened its grip on Chicago, Danielle Campbell reached out to seven of her dearest friends. Most had gone to college with her; all had been in her wedding. But now one was in Seattle, and three were living in France.

The “Fabulous Babes” group chat that resulted was flooded with messages, and soon there was a weekly Zoom meeting with wine or cocktails. The “Babes” discussed their anxieties and challenges, but they also shared silly photos and joked and laughed.

Chicagoans have reached out to dear friends across the country and the world during the pandemic. And in some cases, they’ve stayed in close contact with multiple conversations, texting sessions or video chats.

Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.


Why A Work-Life Balance Scoreboard?

According to a Harvard Business School survey, 94% of working professionals reported working more than 50 hours per week and nearly half said they worked more than 65 hours per week.

“… when the assumption that everyone needs to be always available was collectively challenged, not only could individuals take time off, but their work actually benefited.”

The EU Gender Equality Index 2019 focuses on Work-Life Balance (WLB). The EU WLB scoreboard cuts across three broad areas {paid work, unpaid work (care) and education and training}. These is presented with 15 indicators in six specific areas of concern.


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In The Eye Of Betrayal – What Do You Experience?

In The Eye of Betrayal

An eye for an eye, but not the eye of betrayal.

Even my close friend, someone I trusted from old,
One who shared my bread, my wine and my trust,
Has turned against me in my hour of dire need,
He who shared my bread has turned against me.
Heart of treachery, how can I respond to such pain?
When friends disappoint, where can we find comfort?
Should a friend close enough to share a meal, do such?
Was his betrayer so present, during my shared meal?

You may also like this, Work Infidelity Sabotages Careers And Love Relationship

How have you experienced the betrayal of a friend?
How has hope and love's reassurance sustained you?
I'm thankful that love is stronger than any betrayal.
In a friend's betrayal, I find strength in friend's love.
The song of he who betrays is sweet, deception is far.
His balm of healing soothe, a deadlier wound replace.
In your darkest hour, get help, not from Mr Betrayer.
He sweetens the bitter, makes the bitter a venom pool.

Check out, 13 Steps to Recover From Betrayal and How to Deal With Betrayal

Where is your friend who makes you smile?

Where are your friends?

Where is your friend is not a question. It is a desperate voice, a deep longing from a friend. The one that walked away. The one you have not found. Who comes to mind? Go search now!

Where is your friend who makes you smile?
The one you pinch the face lovingly in approval.
With whom talk time, the clock cannot regulate.
Only sleepy eyes, weak voice, dare make talk fade.

If true friends always stay, who left without a cry?
Are the friends that leave, not meant to have been?
Is it part of the burden of living, hold, but not forever.
Especially precious life, not things bought and sold.

Where is your friend who makes you smile?
The special one with whom dreams and hopes live.
I did not prepare for day of departure or separation.
That mistake I will never make again with another.

If special friends leave, why do birds fly together?
Why do animals live in communities, without friends?
I saw the face, shared values, the mannerism, the love.
I knew this is who I want to connect with, as a friend.

Where is your friend who makes you smile?
The one you pinch the face lovingly in approval.
With whom talk time, the clock cannot regulate.
Only sleepy eyes, weak voice, dare make talk fade.

RELATED: I hired a friendship coach to help me make friends. Here’s what happened.

RECOMMENDED: Everyone that works in football and other professional sports sacrifices a lot of family time.

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MOST RECENT LIFE IN STYLE POSTS

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Worklife Four Spokes -A Drive Into Work/Life Balance

Worklife Four Spokes

Worklife four spokes sounds like a bicycle rotating wheel theory. Anything that makes the wheel of life move in the right direction is worth a taste. What happens when those with ‘professional’ taste buds go on a tasting ‘mission’; tasting, wine, coffee, cuisine, beer etc? Take a little, swallow or spit it out.

I therefore urge you to give ‘worklife four spokes’ a tasty trial. Moreover, we have moved from worklife balance, to worklife blend, worklife effectiveness, and worklife in homelife. The final admonition is that you should actually forget trying to achieve worklife balance.

“After all, your car can be repaired or replaced; you cannot.”

The theory behind ‘worklife four spokes’ says that you can assess your work/life balance by paying attention to the four spokes of life. You need to view your life as a wheel made of four spokes, and becoming mindful of what might be out of whack.

The Four Spokes Of Life

Spoke 1 Work: Practice healthy work habits, and work harmoniously with coworkers.

Spoke 2 Family: The second most important of the spokes, but the worse to define. Whatever your family configuration or definition, what are you giving to it?.

Spoke 3 Play: Social interaction outside your family to friendships and pastimes. Play, fun activities that takes you away from everyday routines and stressors.

Spoke 4 SelfCare: The most important, but often considered last and least. No one can give you this, not even family, it’s all yours.

What do you notice, is balance missing in one or more quadrants? What do you want to change? How would you do it and when will you begin? Do you need a mentor?

If you were a car with a flat tire, you would slow down

Many of us treat our cars better than we treat ourselves. If you were a car with a flat tire, you would slow down, pull over on the roadside and fix the tire. So what’s stopping you from doing that for yourself? After all, your car can be repaired or replaced; you cannot.

Click here to view original web page at www.forbes.com

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Forget work-life balance. The new standard is work-life blend

Forget work-life balance. The new standard is work-life blend

In today’s digital age, where connectivity is 24/7, it can be challenging to disconnect from work. In today’s digital age, where connectivity is 24/7, it can be challenging to disconnect from work. Many of us actively choose not to. Is that a bad thing? The adage of work-life balance—the […]

Click here to view original web page at www.hcamag.com

How To Achieve Work Life Balance As You Get Back To The Office

How To Achieve Work Life Balance As You Get Back To The Office

Achieving work-life balance when returning to the office will be a challenge. Stay-at-home orders are lifting globally, and people are starting to get back to their workplaces. After working from home exclusively, it may be tricky to achieve the right work-life balance (or fulfillment!). Here’s how to set—or reset—a […]

Click here to view original web page at www.forbes.com