Category Archives: Life in Style

What Matters Most In Life – Jennifer Lopez And Davido Speaks

What matters most in life_Material things are becoming useless..

What matters most in life differs at different times and for different people.

Jennifer Lopez says 2020 taught her what ‘matters most’ in life during E! People’s Choice Awards speech. But she is not the only one catching a rainbow in the sunshine. Popstar and multiple award-winning artiste, Davido also had a moment of reflection on life. He gave a good guess on what he thinks matters most in life.

“Oh, my God 2020 man, 2020 was no joke, right?” Lopez said while accepting the Icon Award.

“I mean, before 2020 we were obsessing about winning this award, getting nominated for that award. We were caught up on who sold the most records or who had the biggest box office opening or crazy stuff. This year was the great leveler. It showed us what mattered, what didn’t and for me, reinforced what matters most, people.”

Lopez had a few surprises before she began her speech. Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger and her children were among those who appeared virtually to share their admiration.

Is This What We All Want?

“Helping each other, loving each other, being kind to each other. And the importance of that connection, that human touch. And I realize it’s what I strive for in everything I do, to reach people, to touch people. I believe that’s what we all want, shared experiences, to know that we’re not in this alone,” Lopez went on to say.

“Your belief and your faith in me motivates me to keep going. And sometimes when I’m tired or beaten down like a lot of us have been this year, it’s my family, my friends, my babies and my fans – you guys, who have lifted me up when I couldn’t lift myself.”

Lopez began her career as a dancer on “In Living Color” before finding success as an actor, singer and producer.

She spoke about perseverance. “As a Latina and as a woman, we have to sometimes work twice as hard to get the opportunity. Sometimes my big dreams and my ambitions made the people around me nervous. People would say, you’re a dancer, you can’t be an actress. The more they said I couldn’t, the more I knew that I had to,” she said.

“So now here I stand, so very grateful, knowing that the true measure of my success is not in box office numbers or records sold but from the love that I feel from all of you and yes, I feel it.”

Material Things Are Becoming Useless

What matters most in life can change with the loss of a dear friend. Popstar, Davido, known to flaunt his wealth and jewelry on social media stated that material things are becoming useless to him. 

“I feel like material things are just becoming useless to me every day.” The Fem singer said while being featured on Apple Music Radio’s Africa Now with DJ Cuppy. 

“I just lost a friend, he is from Zimbabwe, he was my very close friend. He was an amazing, and a very great and loving guy, Ginimbi. What did he not have? He had it all,” he said.

“At the end of the day what his death made me realize is that all we have in this life is the air we breathe. You might be poor or rich but whatever situation you find yourself just be happy that you are alive,” he went on to say.

Davido’s new album release has a perky song that opens the LP, “Fem” (“Shut Up”). It recently became a protest song for Nigerians demonstrating to end police brutality and corruption. He have already proved himself across Africa and Europe, and sung alongside American and British superstars. He have been signed to multinational labels, and his music have drawn millions of streams.

Image: Jennifer Lopez, People’s Icon of 2020, accepts the award onstage for the 2020 E! People’s Choice Awards. Photo by Christopher Polk/E! Entertainment/NBCU/Photo Bank via Getty Images/grapejuice

Image: Davido/ghgossip

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I am a CEO with stage 4 cancer. Let me tell you about life

I’m a CEO with stage 4 cancer. Here’s what I can tell you about life

image: Getty/CEO’s major lesson after cancer diagnosis/I Am A CEO With A Stage 4 Cancer. Let Me Tell You About Life.

As the CEO of US real estate company, Keyrenter Franchise, Aaron Marshall spent around 60 to 90 hours per week at work. That all changed when he was diagnosed with stage two and stage four cancer in his appendix, colon and liver.

“After a diagnosis of cancer, it changes your entire thinking,” Marshall told Yahoo Finance. “It helps put things in perspective, and things that once were a priority were no longer so.”

I Am A CEO With Stage 4 Cancer

In the beginning, Marshall considered stepping down from his role as CEO, but his wife urged him to stay on.

“My wife gave me the advice I needed – she said, ‘you need something to get yourself out of bed in the morning’,” he said.

As a CEO, it can be hard to take your foot off the pedal and allow your staff to do the hard yards. But this is exactly what Marshall had to do if he was going to continue.

“I knew I needed to focus on healing my body, but I also needed something to get me out of bed. I re-prioritised my days and delegated many tasks to my capable team,” he said.

And this is one of those that always seems impossible. “I empowered them to succeed in their roles. And now, I meet with them one-on-one each week to ensure they are confident in what they are doing. The company has a vision and each team member is part of that.”

But while Marshall finally learned the importance of having a great work-life balance, he said his biggest lesson through it all was this: “Life is precious.”

“Even more so now, I encourage people to find their passion and follow it,” he said.

Live Like There’s No Expiration Date

Despite his cancer diagnosis, Marshall said he doesn’t believe in expiration dates. He believes everyone should live the same way, cancer or not.

“Growing up, my parents always said they would vacation and do more things once they retired and had more time,” Marshall said.

“Shortly after retirement, my mum was diagnosed with a disease that put her in a wheelchair. They have made travel work in their retirement, but it’s not the way they envisioned.”

So, Marshall made a decision early on not to wait.

“Life is about the journey, and we need to enjoy it. We need not wait until some future day that may never come,” he said. “Since my diagnosis, this drive has only increased. I want to make memories with my family, and spend time with them, enjoying life and guiding them as they become of age and make decisions on their own.”

His one piece of advice? “Enjoy life.”

I Am A CEO With Stage 4 Cancer – And I Know Being Positive Is A Choice

Marshall said he’s become something of a mentor to his peers and colleagues, and the one question they always ask him is, “how do you stay so positive?”

And the answer is simple: positivity is intentional.

“I have had many challenges throughout my life that shaped me to be the man I am today,” Marshall said.

“From birth, being born with a cleft palate, the surgeries, the speech delays. I had a drive to overcome these challenges. As I look back, I realise these were all lessons that are helping me today with my current cancer challenge.”

And while his cancer diagnosis might be out of his control, the key to staying positive is to focus on what you can control.

“I don’t just take what my doctor tells me. If I did, it would be hard to stay positive,” he said. “Instead, I focus on what I can control – my diet, my attitude, exercise, life balance, and I am not afraid to change directions if needed.”

“I still have bad days, and sometimes we need to feel those feelings, but I don’t dwell on them. I let them come and then I get up and get moving.”

Click to read: I’m a CEO with stage 4 cancer. Here’s what I can tell you about life

Source: Yahoo

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Honest Quotes About Fatherhood From Ben Affleck

Honest Quotes About Fatherhood From Ben Affleck

Actor Ben Affleck has some honest quotes about fatherhood and some good, real men words of advise to tell some brothers out there. Am talking to you, my man (or the young adonis), who is still acting in real life, just as Actor Ben Affleck or Tyler Perry does as a day job.

Fatherhood is the real deal, the prom is over. The game is up, the pursuit of the lady is over. Yes, you have won her. And though the love chase and romance will never be over, you have to wake up now to the responsibilities of fatherhood.

The new addition to the world needs a father figure in his or her life. Maybe it is succinct to put them as honest quotes about fatherhood. Do a little more inner reflection than the words you will read on the surface in the quotes.

Ben Affleck has three children ― 14-year-old Violet, 11-year-old Seraphina and 8-year-old Samuel ― with ex-wife Jennifer Garner. Since becoming a dad in 2005, he’s shared glimpses into his experience, from his struggles with his children to co-parenting after divorce.

13 Quotes About Fatherhood In Honor Of Ben Affleck’s 48th Birthday.

“Fatherhood has made me more sensitive and probably more caring, in a way. I always thought I was a caring guy, but it has made me feel things more acutely.”

More sensitive to what you may ask? Another life, especially young tender ones; and the woman who brought the souls to this world.

“Of course, she’s wonderful. [When] somebody’s the mother of your kids, they’re gonna be the most important, central person in your life.”

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This really get you confused, right. I know what you are thinking with that queer smile on your lips. She is so wonderful … but she is … Life is a lot of questions brother, I mean a lot.

“Kids, they see what you do. They don’t listen to what you say, and it means that I have to hold myself to account, in a way, that I think is really good.”

It is sad that most folks do not know this truth until the kid has become the man. The man you don’t want him to be. The man you see in the mirror.

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Click here to view the full original write up at www.huffpost.com

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Wife Adorable Comics Paint Picture of OUR Married Life

Wife's Adorable Comics Paint A Relatable Picture Of Married Life

Most wives are adorable. Some men will not agree with that statement. And if one of such men is reading this, this is a caveat so you do not miss-interpret the heading above.

Not all wive’s are naughty or comical, so please don’t think this is similar to or about your wife adorable comics. Or the reliefs or stress that you you get from them.

From watching TV together to hogging the bed, the little moments captured in these illustrations will hit close to home for married couples. Artist Debbie Tung lives in Birmingham, England, with her husband Jason. She recently published a book of comics based on her relationship titled “Happily […]

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“The best part [of marriage] for me is his company and having someone I’m comfortable with where I can completely be myself,” she said. “As an introvert, I never thought I would find someone I could build a life with. I’m so thankful that I did!” That is such a good one, give me more of such loving wife adorable comics, please.

Click here to view the full original write up at www.huffpost.com

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Tips For Building Better Relationships

7 Musical Tips For Building Better Relationships

Business professional having virtual meeting with coworkers/ Tips For Building Better Relationships

Few days ago, I called one of my close friends. I gave him an update on a business prospect. And as usual, he already has several ways I could have done things differently. Good he could not see my facial expression, as I disapprovingly wave my hand in muted complaints. I wasn’t angry or consider his inputs to be of no value. I know he is genuinely interested in the success of the business.

“Healthy relationships are the bedrock of a good life. Instead of taking them for granted, fortify them.”

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize just how important relationships are. Healthy relationships can reduce stress , promote positive behaviors and give us a greater sense of purpose and well-being.

I admit that I wouldn’t be where I am today without my family, friends and employees.

It wasn’t until the COVID-19 pandemic hit, though, that I realized just how vital healthy relationships are to my personal and professional lives. Given the stresses of the coronavirus pandemic, it’s easy for relationships to hit a sour note. These seven pieces of musical advice can help bring them back into tune:

1. Friendship should rank high among the tips for building better relationships. So you can assume “We’re Gonna Be Friends.”

Having work friends is vital. A LinkedIn study likewise found that, globally, 46% of professionals consider work friends to be an important factor in their overall happiness.

“Feeling needed, valued and appreciated is a fundamental human need.”

“People are more creative and productive when they experience more positive inner work life,”explains Teresa Amabile, Harvard Business School professor and coauthor of The Progress Principle. “And one of the things that contributes to positive inner work life is a sense of camaraderie with teammates and close co-workers — a sense of bonding and mutual trust.”

2. One of the most awesome of all tips for building better relationships – show some “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”

A key component of healthy and productive relationships is being respectful of another person’s time. Whether it’s a family member, friend or employee, that holds true.

3. Know When to “Get Off of My Cloud.”

The point here is the importance of boundaries. That means everything from providing autonomy to not bombarding people. You may never know what they are struggling with too, and which could be of higher priority than your current issue or interest.

4. Get by “With a Little Help From [Your] Friends.”

Here is a balance to “Get Off of My Cloud.” Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end, help from friends is essential. Creating time for this, is priceless. When you notice that someone is struggling — maybe they’re ill or having difficulty managing their time — lend a helping hand.

“When we receive a compliment, it stimulates the same part of the brain that lights up when we get a monetary reward.”

If you’re in a sticky situation yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just remember not to make someone feel obligated to give you a hand because you’ve helped them in the past. Instead, reach out to members of your support network when you feel like you’re underwater. It doesn’t make you a weakling.

5. Strive to Manage “Distractions.”

Distractions are inevitable and instead of wishing them away, find ways to manage them as well as possible. With necessary and thought out flexibility, try working with a priority list, a calendar or options to control calls, notifications or entrance into your pod.

6. When Necessary, “Call Me.”

Maybe you’re in a pinch, or you simply want to avoid endless email threads. When it’s urgent, pick up the phone and call.

To be courteous, ask in advance to make sure that it’s an appropriate time for a quick chat. And encourage others to do the same if they ever need to contact you at the last minute.

7. Is this the ultimate of all tips for building better relationships? Don’t forget to “Praise You.”

Recall a time when you received or gave a compliment. It felt pretty good, right?

That’s because feeling valued and appreciated is a fundamental human need. According to psychotherapist Marcia Naomi Berge, mutual appreciation is the foundation of relationships. The reason is, it’s what encourages us to cooperate with others.

When we receive a compliment, it stimulates the same part of the brain that lights up when we get a monetary reward. It should be no surprise, then, that research shows praising employees boosts productivity.

When giving a compliment, make sure that it’s sincere and specific. And when you receive a compliment, do so with grace.

Healthy relationships are the bedrock of a good life. Instead of taking them for granted, fortify them. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge others’ accomplishments or ask for help. The late Bill Withers was right: “We all need somebody to lean on.”

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Myfwl adapted the write up for short minutes readers. Click here to view the original write up at www.forbes.com. We want to hear from you. Write to us in the Comments section, and visit us on Social Media.

Michelle Obama’s Quarantine Note, Navigating Family

How Michelle Obama Is Navigating Family Life and Protests in Quarantine

Photo credit: Pool – Getty Images/Yahoo/ Michelle Obama’s Quarantine Note

All over the world, the effect of COVID-19 is daunting. But how did Michelle Obama navigated family life during the quarantine? In a new podcast, Michelle Obama shares how she and her family are spending time at home as the coronavirus pandemic continues.

The former First Lady shared that she and her family are having regular family dinners and doing group activities like puzzles and card games.

But, like many of us, Michelle has had low moments in the monotonous stay-at-home era. This was made even bleaker by the growing number of coronavirus cases and deaths in the United States.

Michelle Obama’s Quarantine Note Describes Way’s of Deepening The Bonds

After featuring an insightful and intimate conversation with former President Barack Obama in its debut episode, The Michelle Obama Podcast continues with a reflective conversation between the former First Lady and award-winning journalist Michele Norris.

The two discussed their relationships with themselves, especially amid an unprecedented global pandemic and movement of racial unrest.

Michelle knows from her experience in the White House that operating under a routine is necessary “in order to stay sane, and to feel like the human that you once were,” she told Norris. That means waking up around six or seven o’clock and working out.

Then, during the day, she, her husband, and their daughters, Sasha and Malia Obama, usually do their work in separate parts of the house before gathering at around five o’clock for a group activity and family dinner.

“I’m finding that in quarantine, we look forward to that,” she said. They usually do a puzzle, chat, and play games. “So Barack has taught the girls spades, so now, there’s this vicious competition. They wouldn’t have sat down but for this quarantine, to learn how to play a card came with their dad,” she added.

Is The Demonstration Of Love Intentional In Michelle Obama’s Quarantine Note?

Michelle Obama spoke about how she knew she had fallen in love with Barack Obama. The Obamas took a fond look back at the beginning of their relationship, having first met in 1989 while both where working at a law firm in Chicago.

Michelle explained that the reason she fell in love with Barack was due to the way in which he perceived other people.

She began by saying, “You know at the core of everything you have done politically, what I know about you as a person and one of the reasons why I fell in love with you is…” You know what, don’t look for the reason she gave or what Barack Obama said.

Reflect on your first crush, your current date, your spouse, why did you fell in love with the person? Oh, no wait, why did you break up? In my view, Michelle wasn’t just talking about love to fill in the minutes. Especially her private love life. You need to connect to her narrative and answer the question, where is your friend who makes you smile?

Two Questions For You To Go Tackle And Come Back Stronger

Why should how you succeed be of concern to others?

Speaking of the values that she holds dear in her life, Michelle said that she believes “it is not enough that I succeed on my own”, highlighting the importance of wishing success and happiness for others as well.

This is a question that raised serious concern about, making money, accumulating wealth and ‘what next, after having it all?’. The race is scheduled in such a way that, you don’t willingly step aside, except forced out by misfortune.

There is always an earnestness to make more money. An insatiable hunger not to be ‘foolish’ and leave monetary ‘value’ at the table. An uncontrollable desperation to pursue something higher, be the first, and ahead of the next special ‘class’ or ranking. And as a member of the new ‘top group’, start a new race.

What shaped your world view, what is determining your values and how are you living it?

“I can say that my family, my neighborhood, my notions of community growing up shaped that view. And shaped the choices that I made in life as I felt your experiences shaped yours,” Michelle said to Barack.

The concept of family is currently in trouble, not just in definition, but how it holds together. An African proverb says, it takes a village to raise a child. This means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment.

This is why Pandemic Pods, Nano schools and Micro schools are gaining momentum as parents try to solve the pandemic induced education crisis on their own. Many parents have realized the agonizing truth about school this fall.

If it happens in person, it might not feel safe. And if it happens remotely, it will be inadequate, isolating and unable to allows kids to have fun and build social skills. The ‘village community’ will be left out in the development of the children.

Who Is Family In The Debut Episode Of The Michelle Obama’s Podcast?

During their sit-down conversation, the former residents of the White House also touched upon how they would like to leave the world for their daughters, 22-year-old Malia and 19-year-old Sasha.

This yet again pressured the question of who is ‘family’? Should it just be you, your partner, the child or children under your care if you have them? Can it be limited to you, your parents and siblings if you have one? Maybe if we can define ‘family’, it will help us to see the other person on the street, in our work-life community for who they are. Not the way prejudice or stereotype defines them.

The Obama’s expressed their hope that their daughters will live “in a country that respects everybody and looks after everybody. Celebrates and sees everybody”.

A lot of people live their life, less concerned about what happens to the next generation after them. No matter the safety net that you create, good or bad, the next generation, will impact your offspring. It is in your enlightened best interest to take a closer look across the hedge. Perhaps, even further away, a drive from your privileged and secured community. To slow down and taste life, and find purpose from unexpected circumstances of life.

“They’ll be fine. Right?”

“They’ll be fine. Right?” Barack said, to which Michelle replied: “Yeah. That’s absolutely right.”

Michelle Obama says that she has been suffering from “low-grade depression” because of the pandemic, racial injustice in America and the “hypocrisy” of the Trump administration.

The former first lady, 56, said she had been managing “emotional highs and lows” in response to the lockdown and political situation in the US.

When you and I think about what’s the inheritance that we would like to leave Malia and Sasha, more than anything. What it would be is that, they are living in a country that respects everybody and looks after everybody. Celebrates and sees everybody. Cause we know that if we’re not around, that those girls are in a society like that. — President Barack Obama

Going through Michelle Obama’s quarantine note, a columnist wondered how the Obamas are so preposterously well adjusted? How they could have spent almost a decade at the pinnacle of global power and then produce such a nice podcast? Why aren’t they all demented or power crazed?

These questions and many similar ones may also occur to you, listening to The Michelle Obama Podcast. It is available exclusively on Spotify.

Also, visit the story sources at Independent – Michelle Obama podcast and Yahoo’s How Michelle Obama Is Navigating Family Life and Protests in Quarantine

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Work Infidelity Sabotages Careers And Love Relationship

‘Work Infidelity’: An Insidious Obstacle That Sabotages Careers And Intimate Relationships

Work Infidelity Sabotages/ Being in an intimate relationship with a workaholic can lead to work infidelity.

Original write up in Forbes was by Bryan Robinson, a contributor to Forbes.

Has your spouse or intimate partner failed to appear at family gatherings too many times because of work? ‘Work infidelity’ is an insidious obstacle that sabotages careers and intimate relationships. No doubt, it can put you in the eye of betrayal?

Probe on and see how far down the road this affair may have gone for you.

“I feel so lonely. You’re here in this house and I feel so lonely.’ At the same time he was saying that, I felt lonely, too. Work was what was filling me up. He wanted me to fill him up, and I couldn’t.”

Has she promised to spend more time with you and not delivered because work comes first? Has he said, “I’ll quit tomorrow,” but tomorrow never comes? Or has she stood you up or kept you waiting because of work?

If you answered yes to these questions, you might be suffering from the effects of work infidelity.

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Put Me At The Center Of Your Life And Plan – Be Warned, Work Infidelity Sabotages

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Getting the right attention is one easy way to know the level of commitment that you have from your partner. There are emotional responses that comes out when work infidelity sabotages. Do you feel cheated on, or alone with the responsibility of holding the relationship together?

Treated as being unimportant or minimized is not the same as feeling so. You need to separate how you feel – an interpretation of different actions – from what the real action is.

“Or I’d tell them I was going to my girlfriend’s house. After calling my girlfriend’s and not finding me, they’d call the office and say, ‘I thought you were going to Dottie’s.’”

Whether it is the actual action or how you feel, you might begin to harbor anger, resentment, sadness or guilt. Crying inwardly to be put back at the center of your partner’s life and plan. Definitely not behind everything else around work schedule.

Married To The Job

There was a time when I needed my work and had to hide it from others. The same way my alcoholic father needed and hid his bourbon. Am at the receiving end of what I tried to do for my father. I once tried to control his drinking by pouring out his booze and refilling the bottle with vinegar. Now, the people who loved me sulked, pleads and tore their hair out trying to keep me. Pleading that I spend time with them, away from work.

Every summer, just before we left on vacation, my spouse would search my bags. Mission, to confiscate any work I planned to smuggle into our rented beach house on the South Carolina shore.

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What a crooked work infidelity expert that I am. Jamey’s search would always miss the tightly folded papers covered with work notes, stuffed into the pockets of my jeans.

‘Come, let us stroll on the beach’ Jamey and our close friends will call out.

‘I have got another relationship to nurture’ I will reply.

Not in those words of course. I will usually say that I was tired and wanted to nap.

Hiding A Work Affair – Postponing Work Infidelity Sabotages

Jamey and our close friends don’t put life on hold, they go off, swimming and playing in the surf, a big relationship builder. Unfortunately, what I considered a big waste of time. Crooked work infidelity expert will secretly work in the empty house, bent over a lap desk, fashioned from a board.

At the sound of their returning footsteps, I will stuff my papers back into my jeans. Hide the board, and stretch out on the bed. Pretending to be asleep.

At the time, I saw nothing strange about my behavior. It is only in hindsight that I see it differently, and coined it as work infidelity. The concealment and deceit of work projects, especially after loved ones put their foot down in order to deal with stress. By this, I mean, something quite different from saying that I worked hard.

Work infidelity defended me against unwelcome emotional states. Modulating anxiety, sadness, and frustration, the way a pothead uses dope and an alcoholic uses booze. This is my own way to get my fix. And I am not alone. But it is essential to create a ‘no-work’ buffer to guard against work, creating after-hours work tension.

Romancing The Grindstone

Sometimes, partners feel jealous, even suspicious that their mate is having an affair. This comes from the long and late hours he or she spends away from home. You’ve probably heard the old adage, that some people are “wedded to their work.” If you suffer from work infidelity, you don’t tolerate obstacles to working.

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Case in point, Mildred committed work infidelity to deal with the stress and anxiety caused by her husband’s expectation that she be home with him by 5:00 p.m.

She told him she’d enrolled in an aerobics class after work. Her husband was thrilled that she was finally taking an interest in activities outside work.

But the truth was that, Mildred was working two hours overtime. She changes in her office from business outfit to aerobic garb. Tousling her hair and dampening her tights with water, all to convince her husband that she was coming around.

Follow The Worker Soaked in Infidelity – You Will Follow The Money

Work infidelity causes projects to go everywhere the worker goes, regardless of what family or friends say. Don’t laugh, check briefcases or luggage, under car seats, in glove compartments, in car trunks, beneath spare tires, or in dirty laundry bags. Fight-back fantastic ideas comes up, which also get it more interesting when it is stuffed inside pants or a skirt.

Catch in infidelity, and they will find an excuse. To avoid being caught, I try harder to even avoid an excuse. Work projects then get hidden in a secret compartment of another person’s suitcase, unknown to that person.

Once workaholics start bootlegging their work compulsions, you might as well admit it: they’re desperate. They must get their fix at all costs. Even if it means being deceitful and dishonest, even if it hurts the ones they love the most.

Concealing Work Love Relationship

Elizabeth confessed: “I remember my ex-husband saying to me, ‘I feel so lonely. You’re here in this house and I feel so lonely.’ At the same time he was saying that, I felt lonely, too. Work was what was filling me up. He wanted me to fill him up, and I couldn’t.”

If your partner is like most people suffering from work infidelity, she will cave in to your demands. This is a strategy to conceal work by pleasing you and avoid criticisms. Much like alcoholics who hide beer bottles.

Kate’s work projects became her weekend lover. She lied to her family so she could rendezvous with work at the office.

“I’d tell my family I was going shopping on a Saturday and I’d end up in my office working. Or I’d tell them I was going to my girlfriend’s house. After calling my girlfriend’s and not finding me, they’d call the office and say, ‘I thought you were going to Dottie’s.’ I felt like I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar.”

In his book Working, Studs Terkel described how the broadcast executive Ward Quaal concealed his working from his family. “Although I don’t go to the office on Saturday or Sunday, I do have mail brought out to my home for the weekend. I dictate on Saturday and Sunday. When I do this on holidays like Christmas, New Year’s and Thanksgiving, I have to sneak a little bit, so the family doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

Work Infidelity Sabotages ‘Til Death Do Us Part

Have you put life on hold because of a mate who suffers from work infidelity? If so, you could be enabling the very behavior you wish to erase from your life. Many partners and spouses build their lives around the work infidelity because they want to feel connected and supportive. That’s natural, right?

But molding your life around this malady only leads to more disappointment and enabling. The key to avoid enabling, when you’re desperate to spend time with your partner, is to stop postponing your life.

If you plan a trip to the zoo with the kids and your spouse cancels (for the umpteenth time) because of last-minute job demands, go without her.

When your main squeeze promises to be home in time for dinner and never shows, consider eating on time without him. And, instead of putting dinner on the table at midnight, let him fix his own meal. Not out of anger, but out of self-care.

Click here to view original web page at www.forbes.com

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Slow Down Taste Life, Says Cheryl Day

Cheryl Day Wants You to Slow Down and Taste the Sweet Life

Slow down taste life, Cheryl Day wants you to slow down and taste the sweet life. When you are open to learning, you will learn. Open your eyes and heart, the world is full of wisdom, and they are hidden in unusual places.

Cheryl Day runs her beloved Back in the Day Bakery in Savannah, Georgia. She runs the 17-year-old bakery with her husband Griffith Day and the two have also written best-selling cookbooks together. Her first solo cookbook with Artisan books will be released in Fall 2021.

Julia Turshen spoke with Day about what drives her and what measures she’s put in place to ensure longevity. We have all got a lot to learn from someone who shows us day in, day out, that biscuits matter just as much as boundaries. And that heritage matters, just as much as legacy.

Interview Extract To Slow You Down and Taste Sweet Life

How are you able to do business on your own terms?

I cannot imagine not creating my own destiny every single day. There’s stress that comes with that, but we still love it. We started this on our own. No investors. Still no investors.

“If we want to change something, we can do that on a dime.”

How have you gone about setting boundaries for yourself?

We changed our hours about a year ago. We’re open Thursday to Sunday. We used to be open Tuesday through Saturday and then we dropped Tuesday and added Sunday so we were just closed on Mondays.

“I had to get a little broken before I learned I needed to fix these things.”

Now on days when you’re not in the bakery, what are you doing?

I’m writing or I’m practicing self-care. Sometimes I get a facial in the middle of the day. I started a garden growing roses and herbs. I had to get a little broken before I learned I needed to fix these things.

“We try not to talk about work at home.”

Do you and Griffith have any parameters around your work life and your personal life?

When we get home, if we have to ride around the block a couple of times we will. We try not to talk about work at home.

The above is an extract from an interview by Julia Turshen, founder of Equity at the Table (EATT) and author of Now & Again. See link below to the original web publication.

Click here to view original web page at www.foodandwine.com

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How to cover lifestyle expenses before retirement care

How to cover lifestyle expenses before retirement care

JUSTIN TANG/THE GLOBE AND MAIL/Simpson and Judy/How to cover lifestyle expenses.

Original story is by Dianne Maley, in a special to The Globe and Mail.

We all need to plan ahead for retirement. No matter how you visualize how it will be later, it will always be difficult to get the lenses right. At best, you can use the personal experiences of your parents, your friends parents or that of known relatives.

It will be totally inappropriate not to get an idea of what that period of life will look like. Quite well, different countries and jurisdictions have rules and programs that are different from one another.

But the basic rule is still the same, plan ahead. For there is coming a time when, as a result of age and for health consideration, you will not be able to work like you are doing today. By virtue of an early start, or outstanding pre-retirement investment, you may be able to earn a passive income that will be close to today’s income.

How to cover lifestyle expenses – Simpson and Judy (not real name) example

Simpson and Judy have retired from the work force – Simpson from the government and Judy from financial services – and are planning to spend more time travelling.

While they are not prosperous, Simpson and Judy are comfortable. They bring in more than $80,000 a year before tax between the two of them in government benefits and pension income. Simpson’s defined benefit pension is $37,290 a year, rising with inflation. Judy’s work pension is about $12,200 a year, not indexed to inflation. As well, they both get Old Age Security and Canada Pension Plan benefits.

“No matter how well off people are, they can’t enjoy their retirement to the fullest if they don’t have confidence that they have enough.”

CLIENT DESCRIPTION AND SITUATION

People involved: Simpson, 71, Judy, 65, and their three children.

The problem: Determining how far their savings and investments will go. How to invest the proceeds of a cottage sale. And how to keep income taxes to a minimum.

Aspiration and plan: Set aside some money for health care later in life. Take full advantage of their tax-free savings accounts. Consider hiring an investment counsellor to build a more diversified portfolio.

The payoff: Confidence they can achieve their goals with no more worrying about financial security.

Interesting readers comments on Globe and Mail investing and personal finance column

From over seventy comments on the article in globe and mail, the four below provides insights into how some are thinking about retirement and classification of the wealthy. Personally, it got me thinking, which side do I belong, poor, average, prosperous or wealthy?

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“On average, people live in a nursing home for less than three years, some five years, before they die.”

“We currently rent an apartment which is well-equipped with many amenities,” Judy writes in an e-mail. They own a lakefront four-season cottage. This is a former second home that they have decided to sell because they don’t use it much any more.

They plan to spend $15,000 a year travelling for the next decade. They are concerned they may have to tap into their savings or spend some of the proceeds of the cottage sale to cover their lifestyle spending.

As well, they wonder how best to invest the net proceeds of the cottage sale, estimated at $450,000. “How much should we put aside for long-term care support if needed?” Judy asks. “Would I be able to keep up our standard of living if Simpson should die and I lose half his pension?”

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Globe and mail asked an expert to look at Simpson and Judy’s situation.

WHAT THE EXPERT SAYS

  • Simpson and Judy have worked all their lives and managed their affairs wisely.
  • They are financially independent, that is, they have enough to retire and maintain their lifestyle.
  • As strange as it sounds, they lack financial security, or the confidence that they have enough to achieve all their goals.
  • Based on an assumed 4-per-cent average rate of return and inflation of 2 per cent, they will have sufficient financial resources to maintain their desired lifestyle and achieve all their financial goals.
  • Their financial independence is largely based on their work pensions and government benefits
  • With $80,000 in pensions and government benefits, it looks like they have enough to cover lifestyle expenses and pay their income tax.
  • Their travel money will come from investment income.

Benefits of giving children an “inheritance advance”

At some point before they pass away, the couples are thinking if they could afford to give each of their children an “inheritance advance.”  The following may apply if they do so.

  • It will allow the parents to enjoy seeing the good they can do.
  • Siblings war tends to be strange. Distributing early would reduce the possibility that their heirs will quarrel over what might be a larger estate.
  • Giving the children some money would reduce the parents’ investment income. It would lower their income tax liability and the possibility of having their Old Age Security benefits clawed back.
  • It would help the children when they most need the help.

Experts recommends they hire an investment counsellor, and draw up an investment policy statement among others.

Nothing in this write up is an investment advise or a guide on how to manage your own personal affairs.

Read https://www.theglobeandmail.com/investing/personal-finance/retirement/article-couple-want-to-cover-lifestyle-spending-and-set-aside-enough-for/

Girlboss Blackgirl Kat Edison, The Bold Type

girlboss_blackgirl_kat_edison_the-bold-type_

Girlboss Blackgirl Kat Edison is real, no, she is fake, imaginary from a novelist brain. Let us settle this, Girlboss Blackgirl Kat Edison played by Aisha Dee, that is the one that is real. Aisha!

Girlboss Blackgirl Kat Edison is going to do something to you. So let me warn you ahead before you read this piece, this is reality, not TV. No, not reality TV. Okay, is the life that we all live, each one of us, is it an undocumented reality TV show? I just don’t get it. Not after #blacklivesmatters!

Try to think of every Black girl you’ve ever dreamed could grace your television screen on a weekly basis. Try, who, me? No, you must be kidding me. I am not even a female to be close to being a feminist. At least, not for the purpose of this write up.

The decision to create a fully fleshed-out Black character and then have her reduced so exhaustively is ‘rough’. And doing that in one season feels more than just a betrayal. For fans who feel an overwhelming sense of connection to Kat’s character, it feels like violence.”

Try again and think of a specific Black girl now, listen to me. The Girlboss type, you know, Girlboss Blackgirl. The one you have ever dreamed could grace your television screen on a weekly basis. yes, I got you. Your choice did not come close to the character of Kat Edison.

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Girlboss Blackgirl Kat Edison Bold Type – how is it different?

In The Bold Type, Kat (played by Aisha Dee), occupies a unique and consequential role as a Black main character known for her unabashed sense, and celebration, of self. The joy imbued in this fully developed character helped make The Bold Type a very different fantasy than the one it initially appeared to be.

The series was marketed as a walking Net-a-Porter ad for surface-level feminism. The Bold Type quickly and skillfully crafted an escapist media-world fantasy. Where, one night a week, a career in journalism was as easy as a fully funded magazine.

“… success without the slightest hint of turmoil in … work life … perfect niche of fantasy … escapism…”

500 words in sans serif a day, a million-dollar fashion closet to ease any relationship woes. Bosses that supported a version of “lean in” feminism that was inclusionary and intersectional in a way real life never was.

While all of this is in line with the surface-level feminist fantasy that The Bold Type initially appeared to be. The negative reactions to Kat’s story line from both viewers and Aisha Dee herself make it clear that these decisions are a betrayal of what the show has actually become.

The Bold Type’s decision to position Kat as a success without the slightest hint of turmoil in her work life helped catapult the show into its perfect niche of fantasy media escapism.

The decision to create a fully fleshed-out Black character and then have her reduced so exhaustively is ‘rough’. And doing that in one season feels like more than just a betrayal of the show’s established themes. For fans who feel an overwhelming sense of connection to Kat’s character, it feels like violence.

“In the end, the promises of #Girlboss feminism are as empty as they are exclusionary”

Again, Black women are left behind

But the reality of how much Kat’s character represents lies in more than just viewer backlash. In an open letter published on Instagram, Dee critiqued her character’s portrayal. She pinpointed the lack of representation in the writers’ room that led Kat to this moment.

This seems more than just a simple character misstep. This season of The Bold Type is the perfect example of what happens when white feminism moves beyond the confines of entertainment and into the open spaces of real life.

When issues that can be flattened into easily digestible pillow talk are placed into a real scenario, they fail to hold up actual fact and experience. In the end, the promises of #Girlboss feminism are as empty as they are exclusionary. And once again, Black women are left behind.

RELATED: https://worklifefeed.com/2020/07/08/asking-yourself-these-2-questions-can-change-your-life/

Girlboss Blackgirl, what next?

The love and support for Kat Edison is clear evidence of a still unquenched desire for Black women to see themselves onscreen. And the success of earlier seasons of The Bold Type show that Kat’s character does more than just live well. It lives because some are weathering the pandemic storm, and any one too has an opportunity to weather any unfavorable storm.

Her openness and joy is a definitive marker of what makes the show great. So Kat’s baffling season-four journey does more than do her character a disservice. It shows that as long as diverse voices are kept out of the room, the era of the #Girlboss might not be as dead as we think.

Click here to view original web page at www.vulture.com

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