Category Archives: Akinspire.

Drop Mediocrity In Pursuit Of Greatness, No Holding Back

DROP MEDIOCRITY IN PURSUIT OF GREATNESS, NO HOLDING BACK

There comes a time in the life of a great individual in the making. When he or she wakes up and change life course. To drop a garb, and choose a new path. I invite you today, to drop mediocrity in pursuit of greatness. To drop fear, in the eagerness of excellence. Nothing holding you back, as you face your fears and doubts.

No one ever regrets leaving the comfort crib. Hard it may be initially. Tough, uneasy, and fearful. So it is time for you too, to drop mediocrity in pursuit of greatness. Come on. You can do it. Greatness beckons!

A dream, an opportunity, act on life before you wake up

  • Life is too precious, not a day to live in mediocrity’s hand.
  • Life is pure, white like a dove, no patchiness in its living.
  • Ordinary, common, indifferent, average all is a choice.
  • Do not be in the middle-of-the-road, dull, or humdrum.
  • Undistinguished, uninspiring, second-rate, and ordinary.
  • Insignificant, inferior, colorless, common, and a waste.
  • Life is an opportunity, a dream, an orchestra, a song.
  • Golden, life is admired; but stolen, just by mediocrity.
  • Life is a golden opportunity, use it as good as you can.
  • A gem, distinctive, brilliant, hidden in the mud of doubt.
  • Excellent, superior, rarity, of pre-eminence, and genius.
  • Peerless, virtuoso, supreme, unrivaled, and nonpareil.

Can you dare me and be different?

  • You follow the herd? Hi, have your dreams grown wings?
  • Birds wings and great heights, but not mediocrity autopilot.
  • Dreams found? It flew back? Got courage to climb and fly?
  • Can you dare me and be different? No, dare them and fly.
  • Still living and working another’s dreamy expectations?
  • Stop it mediocre! Nobody glows or grow by mediocre life. 
  • Mediocrity wakes up, sweating, threatened by talent alive.
  • Are you a dead talent, a worry master of what people say?
  • Why be unable to put in “sweat equity,” stop living by default?
  • Mediocrity fears talent in pursuit of what matters to me, you.
  • Doing what matters to mine, in excellence, at full heart speed.
  • But I need you, courage, to be different, to follow my heart.

Stop putting up with mediocrity!

DROP MEDIOCRITY IN PURSUIT OF GREATNESS
  • Stop putting up with mediocrity! There are no later life acts.
  • Move on, move far, change circle. Mediocrity is contagious.
  • A mediocre life puts forth mediocre effort, no “sweat equity.”
  • Dream big, set goals, interact with champions, get inspired.
  • Think big, make plans, escape comfort, take responsibility.
  • Forge your path, be crazy, take the risks, break the chains.
  • Be vulnerable, lick criticism, razor focus – one goal, a time.
  • Extinguish fears, ignite confidence, be different, a new YOU!
  • Mediocrity will wake up, sweating, threatened by talent alive.
  • Stop putting up with mediocrity! There are no later life acts.
  • Life is a golden opportunity, use it as good as you can.
  • Life is too precious to be lived, not a day in mediocrity.

You may also like;

DROP MEDIOCRITY IN PURSUIT OF GREATNESS

Visit Akinspire Blogs Collections, see some below;

Welcome to Worklife Feed

How Family And Friends Disconnections Impacts Life

worklifebalance_how missed family and friends connections impacts life

“Hello, friends. It has been awhile, but it is so nice to see you here.” That is Danielle Davis announcing her return back to the writing circuit on Pointless Overthinking. She had been away for awhile and was about to share her experiences of how family and friends disconnections impacts life, her life.

“Throughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and desire to feel connected with others. Instead, we often contract, fear intimacy, and suffer a bewildering sense of separation. We crave love, and yet we are lonely. Our delusion of being separate from one another, of being apart from all that is around us, gives rise to all of this pain.”

SHARON SALZBERG

I Want To Be Real – Quirky And Messy – No Mask On

I have been thinking lately about connections. More specifically human connections. I think I have wandered through much of my life taking for granted human connection and how important it is to a healthy and happy state of mind.

Do not get me wrong. Some of the connections I have made over the years have definitely NOT been in my best interest (exes, needy “friends,” toxic bosses, etc).

For this discussion, I am talking about those connections that replenish us. Those ones that create safe spaces for us to let our hair down. I am speaking of relationships that allows us to be who we truly are. Not the ones that makes us wear masks or squeeze ourselves into uncomfortable boxes. The desire here, are relationships that allows our true selves, quirky, messy and neurotic in all of our glory.

Stepping Out Into A New Beginning

I grew up in a little town outside of Rochester, NY, and I could not get out of my hometown fast enough. It felt like everyone was always in my business. Or had an opinion of me and how I should live my life. And they were not afraid to share their thoughts with me. It was unbearable and I just wanted OUT.

So, in 2001, I started travel nursing. I did not travel too far at first, only to the next city for a while.

Then, when I got a little braver I accepted an assignment in a big city 7 hours away. That led to a bigger move to a few states south of where I grew up.

Each assignment was 13 weeks long. So I did not have to stick around for too long in any one place if I did not want to. I met loads of people and had so much fun.  Every new place I went, I reinvented myself. Shedding the labels and expectations of all those that I have left behind.

It was AWESOME. Finally, I felt free from all the judgement of others. It was incredible to experience and learn all that I did. And it was – if I am being completely honest – at times excruciatingly lonely. Like “huddle-up-in-a-ball-on-the-floor-and-cry-at-night” kind of lonely. This did not happen often, but it happened enough times to leave a mark. But at that time in my life, the good times decidedly outweighed the bad.

Stepping Back Into The Old – Family And Friends Disconnections

Eventually, after 6 years of traveling, I got homesick. At the same time, an opportunity to be on a cardiac surgery team in my hometown opened up. I had always wanted to learn cardiac surgery, so back home I went.

It felt funny to be home. Everything seemed just a little smaller. It was familiar, yet alien to me all at the same time. I worked a lot, and ended up in an awful relationship. Sadly, I also fought with my mother pretty much the entire time.

Despite my growth, she and so many others still saw me as the anchor-less, screw-up that I had been my whole life. I had changed, but many people still saw me with the same labels they had previously slapped on me. It lasted three and a half years.

Then I felt that if I did not get the hell out of the environment, I was going to die. That was an actual thought in my head, “I would rather be dead than be here.”

I packed up my dog, my clothes and shoes and moved 3,500 miles away. That was 11 years ago. That move quite literally may have saved my life. But it was the biggest ripping away of all I knew and was.

My Life Was Complete – But Was It?

I rewrote my life and learned to survive on my own. I focused on my career, and paid my bills. Things were going well, and I made lots of incredible friends. To spice up life, I went on amazing vacations and eventually met the love of my life. My life was complete – but was it? My family and friends disconnections from me was blurred because some other things temporarily took their place.

Back in 2019 (which after 2020 feels like it was 100 years ago), when we were living in the Bay Area, I found out that my father had passed away. We were not close. Nevertheless, it still felt strange to have a piece of my past cease to exist. We also found out that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had some health challenges back on the east coast.

My brother and his family, who live in New York, were sending my niece off to school. I missed my best friend, who also lives in New York. And whom I only saw once every year or two. I started to become consciously aware of this feeling of missing out on things … a feeling of dis-CONNECTION.

A Great Reset – How Family And Friends Disconnections Impacts Life

The final straw for me was last December. My husband and I had great jobs, jobs of a lifetime really. We were successful and had a beautiful apartment only 20 miles outside of downtown San Francisco. We had a good life.

Then, one morning, tragedy struck. I went to work only to find out that one of my staff had been tragically killed the night before. A drunk driver hit him on the way home from his evening shift.

His wife also worked for me and she was in my office trying to find out where he was. Wondering why he hadn’t come home. When her phone rang, I watched while she was told the news. I watched her drop the phone and crumple to the floor. In a moment, practically her whole life and everything she had known shattered around her.

What If This Was Either One Of Us?

I picked up the phone and spoke to the man from the coroner’s office. Got contact information so someone could identify the body and make arrangements for the funeral home. It was one of the most heart-breaking and impactful things I have ever experienced in my life.

I went home that night and spoke to my husband, Mike. He was nearly as shocked as I was. The questions started to roll through our minds, that which makes you take a fearful glance at someone and quickly avoid the eye connection. What if this was either one of us? What would the other person do? We have “friends” in the city, but we are so far from our family and real friends. It became obvious that actually, we have no one close to us. No one that can help us pick up the pieces of our life if such an incident happens to one of us.

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.

MOTHER THERESA

We started talking in earnest about our priorities and what changes we needed to make in our lives. It was time to re-CONNECT.

Reconnecting Back With Family And Friends

My husband and I are both from the northeast and we had absolutely zero interest in living anywhere that would ever have snow in the forecast. We therefore decided to move near my in-laws in Tampa.

I took some time off from work after the move. This is so we could just focus on friends and family. Despite COVID-19, we have gotten to spend more time with our friends and family. Actually, in the past 8 months, we had spent more time with family and our real friends than we had in the past couple of years. We had successfully bridged our previous family and friends disconnections.

Our hearts are full, and life feels complete. I feel the connections I had unknowingly been missing for some time. Just being in the same time zone has been a game changer for phone calls and text messages.

I Missed Them, They Missed Us, Life Is Good

I do not want to try to sell you some fairy tale ending here, that is not what this is about. Families are not perfect because people are not perfect. But I will tell you this now with better conviction. I am 100% certain that if Mike or I, had something tragic befall us, our family and real friends would be there in a heartbeat. The same way we would for them. I missed them, they missed us, life is good.

I hope you enjoyed my post! Please let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you!! Light and love to you and yours.

You may also like;

Welcome to Worklife Feed articles and site-files indexing and adaptation series.

Worklife Frustration, Desperation, And Wrong Steps

WORKLIFE FRUSTRATION, DESPERATION, AND WRONG STEPS

At a tender age, I took over the family corporate business empire from my dad, that was at twenty years of age. Jeruslab Incorporated has been a great success, and I was CEO at the global headquarter for sixteen years. That was after I had my education at the best schools you could think of. Before then, I did not know any worklife frustration, desperation or any thing of such.

I did not however follow in the footsteps of the great CEO’s before me.

Ignorantly, everyone thought I was expanding the business empire and increasing our wealth. Preparing the ground for the next generation. However, wrong steps happen at every level of life and leadership.

Worklife Frustration And Desperation Happen To All

Once the crisis started, Jeruslab incorporated competitors swarmed us. Alternative products poured into the market segments that we have dominated for decades. Our dominance was challenged. It was initially difficult to understand what was going on.

The Arameans defeated us, one contract bid after another. They then head hunted many of our top talents, and big percentage left with our trade secrets and know how.

What amazed me most was the battle from within. It came from one of our former subsidiary companies that has gone to be an independent company of its own.

They launched a ferocious and direct advertisement campaign against my reputation. This inflicted a heavy damage on the value of the companies shares on the stock exchanges.

Take a Listen: BBC Hard Talk – Stephen Sackur’s Interview With Rob Schenck

Depression set in for me. The unfolding worklife desperation and frustration made sleep to depart from me. Anxiety cannot lay with sleep, not even on the most expensive bed, or any lavishly furnished room you can think of. Desperation made me to take more wrong steps.

A Danger Spiraling Out Of Control – Work-Life To Death-Life

In one day, several government agencies raided our offices across major cities all over the world. Frantically, Jeruslab employees were shredding and burning company papers to hide information from the authorities. Others were making a run to escape arrest, and a few jumped from the high rise building that accommodated one of our offices in Asia.

By the end of the week, several arrest had been made – wives, sons and daughters of my senior managers and directors in Europe had been taken into police custody for interrogation.

You may also like;

Nightmares do happen during day time, it happened to me when hackers started another war front. Bitcoin, hidden foreign reserves, gold reserves and all forms of investments stashed away from the preying eyes of the tax authorities were exposed and plundered.

Not a joke taken too far, but I got a message from the hackers.

“Take heart, because it is the God of your ancestors that is angry with you, he gave you into our hands. However we have done more damage than we should in our usual greed. We’re sorry and cannot continue, we are also harming our own community and going against our interest, code and relationships. Our group cannot take your loot as looters.”

There was a sense of relief. But worklife frustration, desperation and anger had already overtaken me.

Seeking Help From Enemy Foreign Government

The presidential election was coming close. I wanted to take revenge, create an upset and fight back.

Rodsia was a willing tool. The Shinomites had attacked Bathington and carried away patents, high value data and innovations. I was humbled. My country was humbled among the nations. Things seems to be in disarray.

The president of Rodsia finally took my call. But he gave me trouble instead of help. Frustrated the more, I sold off my core investments in major corporations in Rodsia. I presented them to the president of Rodsia, but that did not help me.

Wrong Way to Respond In Trouble – Don’t Become Belligerent Or Unfaithful

Faith in my strength, invincibility and accomplishments faded. The century old organization that my ancestors have built was crumbling in my hands.

Advertisements

I offered the president of the Republic of He-Ran to sell their export goods and provide urgently required imports. This is to alleviate the economic embargo and blockages that the country was under because of their supposedly investment in nuclear energy and missiles.

My assumption is that, if I He-Ran can survive in the midst of the global sanctions, maybe I can learn a few tricks from them. I was willing to learn even from the devil to survive.

The calculation is that there must be tactics and strategies that they have adopted, which if I can follow, they can also take me out of my present predicaments.

This also became my downfall and the downfall of Jeruslab. I cannot go into details, but it did not work out.

We then gathered all the remaining last pieces of wealth that we have. We repackaged them into small separate companies. Our thought was that if Jeruslab falls completely, the smaller companies may survive. We scattered the companies into different countries under different ownership. Bribing our way to form dubious alliances with locals wherever there was opposition.

Worklife Frustration, And Desperation Are Not False Alarms But Wake Up Calls

Sitting idly one night, I wondered, where did I get it wrong? My parents did well during their own time. Did I take inspirations and learnings from my own generation and did not follow the precepts that I was taught from my youth? I failed, it was failure from the top. And with that, I spread despondency that was felt on the streets and in the lives of those that were close to me.

Being so blinded by my fights and battles, I did not realize that other companies were also suffering similar challenges. And some others were growing in exponential proportion and having a good ride. Releasing perfect products one after another, especially, during a time when we are all in locked down, and have to work from home.

Worklife Without Discretion Is Worse Than Torture

Steven J. Cole said life consists of a series of choices, and I agree with him. He shared many thoughts, but the following story caught my attention.

The story started with a fourteenth century duke named Raynald III, in what is now Belgium. Raynald III had a violent quarrel with his younger brother, Edward, who then led a successful revolt against him. Edward captured Raynald, but didn’t kill him. Instead, he built a room in his brother’s castle, and kept him there. Edward then promised Raynald that he could regain his title and property as soon as he was able to leave the room.

Of course, this shouldn’t have been difficult for the average person. The room had several windows and a door of near-normal size, and none was locked or barred. The problem was Raynald’s size: he was grossly overweight.

For Raynald to regain his freedom, he had to lose weight, by choice.

Not Everything That Does Not Kill You, Will Make You Stronger

But Edward knew his older brother, and each day he sent him a variety of delicious foods. Remember the story of the monkey that holds a peanut inside a jar. The choice is simple, hold on to the peanut and continue to be held captive – a prisoner to choice. Or release the peanut and be free.

Instead of dieting his way out of prison by resisting those tempting foods, Raynald grew fatter. When Duke Edward was later accused of cruelty, his reply was, “My brother is not a prisoner. He may leave when he so wills.”

But, of course, his brother was a prisoner – of his own appetite. He stayed in that room for ten years and wasn’t released until Edward died in battle. By then his health was so ruined that he died within a year (adapted from Leadership [Spring, 1984], p. 44).

In reminiscing on this tory, Steven J. Cole said that there is in every human heart, a perverse and powerful attraction for that which you know cognitively will destroy you. Like bugs drawn toward a light that will kill them, humans are drawn toward the evil that will enslave and ultimately ruin them.

The Worklife Choices Of Before Or After

There was absolutely no need for the wrong steps that I have taken. An adversary could have charmed me, and rebellion may have encouraged me. But I made the choices and decisions. The wrong steps were not forced on me, it was desperation that made them look like great solutions.

The lessons of life are hard and brutal. It only takes a few steps, and a continuation in those wrong steps, for any one to go further down and out. When we experience worklife frustration or desperation, we still have choices. We still have the power to make right decisions and avoid taking wrong steps.

For those interested in a similar story: 2 Chronicles 28: 1-27; 2 Kings 16: 1-20; Isaiah 7: 1-25

Why Does My Relationships Makes Me Cry?

Why does my relationships makes me cry

image credit: Squarespace/Words and Vision/ Why Does My Relationships Makes Me Cry?

I cry because I feel a pain. But I also thought that I cried because I needed to unburden myself, free the load I carried. Exactly six days ago, I had felt very different about this same issue. That is, crying over my relationships. But now, I do not have the same level of pain or emotion.

So what went wrong six days ago that made me to shed tears?

I knew I felt real anguish deep within me. That was the reason why I cried and prayed in partially audible groans. Why I wept, uncontrollable.

“I cry because I care. Yes, I cry because I don’t feel heard. I cry because you only hear my cry (complaints you call it), but do not see the care.”

If I had asked you my friend, Craig, why does my boyfriend keep making me cry? Naturally, you would have said it is because he did something that I don’t like or appreciate. And you may also have asked if it is something he does unintentionally. Or perhaps if he doesn’t know that I am being hurt by him.

Recommended: Honest Quotes About Fatherhood From Ben Affleck

I felt hurt and cried because of many things that day, my relationships issues and needs. That was not the first time and I am definitely not a cry baby. Why does my relationships, our relationships, makes us cry?

How do I stop being so emotional or stop my relationship emotional dependency?

First, I do not know if I am emotionally dependent on my partner. I have never thought deeply about this or go back at any time to understand the root cause of some of my crisis.

I recently read that emotionally dependent people aren’t just insecure, they have an obsessive need to be close to and attached to other people. In my estimate, my need to be close to and be attached to my partner is right and normal. When does it become excessive or a demonstration of insecurity?

I mean, we all experience some form of insecurity. No one knows the future, and no matter how confident we strove and climb the mountains, we all have a silent fear about the future.

What I still do not understand is this stuff called, an ‘obsessive fear’ of losing love. I did not start a relationship to lose it and neither do I want to jump from one relationship to another.

I need to take extra note of some words as I try to understand better, why my relationships make me cry.

Dependency seems to be when this normal things are in the extreme, obsessive, almost-insane etc. For example, dependent people have an almost-insane fear of not being good enough.

Then comes the issue of deep-rooted childhood traumas and disappointments.

Dependency, happiness and building a castle on shifting sands

In all, no matter the source or cause, depending on others for our happiness is like building a castle on shifting sands. It is more alarming to realize that emotional dependency isn’t just a state of mind, but a verifiable psychological disorder. A state of being where a dependent person can be sufferings from “dysphoric moods” or sudden mood changes making such unpredictable and difficult to deal with.

Even though emotional dependency is said to be serious and require professional help from someone with experience in relevant trauma treatment, a few tips can initially come handy. E. B. Johnson, NLP-MP, recommends the following;

  • Practice being there for yourself.
  • Stop giving away your responsibilities (especially self care) to others.
  • Re-parent yourself.
  • Recognize your own emotional cruelty.
  • Identify and let go of self-destructive patterns.
  • Detachment as liberation.
  • Develop some patience.
  • Let go of idealistic expectations.
  • Stop confusing your needs with someone else’s responsibilities.
  • Avoid letting your desire get carried away.
  • Letting go of the need to control others.
Why does my relationships makes me cry, what can I do?

My partner makes me a wreck, not that he beats me. But I am just tired and not happy in the relationship. You ask me to confront him, yes I have. You think maybe talking to someone about it will help, sharing with someone how I feel. I have done that too. And thanks to a loving gentleman who guides and coaches me. If not for him, many times, I would have taken very wrong steps.

“I am stretched and tired. Not only that, I have given up but cannot give up.”

The issues have been identified, and they are not likely to go away. He has even raised his hands in the air and declared that he cannot help himself. He said he does not have the skills or ability to do what I am asking him to do. But this are mere responsibilities that a normal husband or man should stand up to.

Quite all right, he does far above average in the area where he is lucky (sic!) to have a comparative advantage. But even at that, in those areas, I have had to double down to assist and guide him in some critical decisions and actions. Putting my feet down on critical decisions that he ought to take. And even adding my own resources, and that for his area of comparative advantage.

An expert thought on crying

So I cry, because it is frustrating. I am doing more than my bit, so I think.

“I am crying because they serve a purpose. Tears don’t come easy, so I cry because I hurt.”

According to Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine,  “crying is an excellent way of releasing emotions and processing difficult situations.” Woman’s Day break down twelve possible reasons, experts says are the psychology behind constant crying.

These includes built-up emotions, emotional empathy, learned associations, neuroticism, depression and anxiety. Others are, early trauma, stress, personality, hormones, socialization and the PseudoBulbar affect.

“I am better,” isn’t better? “My cry bottle is fuller,” perhaps feel better

When Rose told told HuffPost, “I can’t remember an argument in which I haven’t cried, but then I’m generally a crier.” I said to myself, good girl, at least you are not a crier, but what am I?

Funny, many times, I have also been angry with my relationship with God, and that also makes me cry. Why is He keeping quiet. How come He is allowing me to go through this pains and hurts? For how long will He test me before He redeems me?

Should I be called a cry bottle filler? I am crying because they serve a purpose. Tears don’t come easy, so I cry because I hurt.

I cry to communicate to God when words fail me, he keeps track of all my sorrows. He has collected all my tears in His bottle. He has recorded each one in His book.

I cry because I care. I cry because I don’t feel heard. But for how long?

Why does my relationships makes me cry? I cry because I care. Yes, I cry because I don’t feel heard. I cry because you just hear my cry (complaints you call it), but do not see the care. If you want to know, I am stretched and tired. Not only that, I have given up but cannot give up. My journey have been very long, I have invested so much into this relationship and cannot let go now.

But for how long? And will it ever get better? Especially for a fundamentally flawed incapability in a partner. This I know, God is for me. In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man created situations and circumstances do to me?

Is it possible to make sense of what is senseless?

I was introduced to Beth Kinder by chance, and she asked me to go back thousands of years and read where a king gave an order to murder every Hebrew baby boy by drowning them in the river.

She said God described the Israelites during that time as His people. Yet mothers were having their babies ripped from their arms and murdered. Senseless… Where was God? Did those Hebrew families not honor God?

Beth then fast forward my mind to several thousand years later when another king ordered the senseless slaughter of all male children, ages two years and younger. She asked, “where was God?” After all, weren’t they still His people? Had they, too, removed God from their lives, their homes, their world?

I sense what my ‘comforter friend’ is trying to explain, but I do not agree with him.

What I do agree with is that we are all in this life bubble and are facing very different and sometimes related challenges.

When Beth said that her greatest victories, and her most catastrophic defeats have come from her little unit, called family, it resonates with me. Like her, I appreciate that there is beauty exchanged in the growing pains of family, where we must fight hard to make it work, when we would have rather quit.

Like Beth, I can no longer do any lesser.

I am promising myself that I would be for others, including my partner and friends, what I could not always find or receive. Hopefully, I will find out during this process of self discovery, that everyone has something for someone. I may have to search deeper, clean off more dirt’s, to find the hidden treasures in my life and possibly, also in my partner.

Welcome to Worklife Feed.

We Are Living, Breathing Role Models

WE ARE LIVING, BREATHING ROLE MODELS

A role model battle, but not merely between right and wrong. We are living it, but rarely know it.

“We are living, breathing role models – not just in what we say, but what we do”

– Former First Lady Michelle Obama
My battles are mine, but the impact is ours
A raging storm within, the outburst without
Who dare touches the flaming fang in its glory?
We are living it, but rarely know it, don't we?
We are breathing it in, no one sees the exhale
My choices are mine, but the impact is ours
A selfish lure of desire, the denial of rights
Who can still or hold the raging force of pride?
We are living it, but rarely feel it, shouldn't we?
We are breathing it in, no one dies, it is okay 
My fears are mine, but the impact is ours
A dark clingy wrap, a limiter to full existence
Who is brave to shine me, in my fearful distress?
I am not living it, and I know and feel it, do I?
I am breathing, not in, no one to guide as a model.

“Being a role model is equal parts being who you actually are and what people hope you will be.”

– Meryl Streep

We are living, breathing role models, but rarely know it. We are in role model battle, but not merely between right and wrong.

You may like, Michelle Obama Talks About Failure, Work-Life Balance

Finally according to Maya Angelou in the mentors magazine 70 role model quotes, “each of us, famous or infamous, is a role model for somebody, and if we aren’t, we should behave as though we are — cheerful, kind, loving, courteous. Because you can be sure someone is watching and taking deliberate and diligent notes.”

I Don’t Want To Be A Role Model

Living life as me is enough of an headache. Making it through each day just for me is a stress I have to overcome daily. But life thrust some responsibilities, some of my making, others, are just life demands.

I cannot just live the way I want. If just for the kids in my life, not mine alone, either I even have one or not. I may be stressed, feel cheated or stepped on. But I have to put in enough control in all circumstances, because someone is looking at me; beyond my teaching instructions on living. Therefore, I have a big responsibility to be a good role model for your kids. And by the way, that includes your neighbors kids, the kid to your friend, relations and enemies.

If I don’t have a choice, you too don’t. The life, environment and world that we build, is where we all have to live in.

Vulnerabilities Are Not Weaknesses, Not All Pains Give Gain

Vulnerabilities Are Not Weaknesses, Not All Pains Give Gain

The window into next week has opened, but last week’s closing thought is still very much with me. I came across the term, ‘Johari window’ some years ago, and I was amazed to know my blind spots. Vulnerabilities that are not weaknesses. But back then, I had not acknowledged them because I didn’t know they exist. Not to talk of understanding them.

Those considered to be at risk to get a COVID-19 infection are those that are vulnerable or in the high risk group. These are people who are older than 60 years. Or those who have health conditions like lung or heart disease, diabetes or conditions that affect their immune system.​

Medical advise is that if you’re at high risk (vulnerable), know what to do, and take the right actions to protect yourself.​

Jump and take a leap of faith, even if it feels like being pushed off an edge. Be vulnerable, crack open the mask, let a different shade of light into your world.”

The same approach, with a tweak, can be applied to emotional or relational vulnerability. Know what to do, and take the right actions to protect (expose) yourself.

You may also like, Quote Diaries – Create Destiny Every Single Day

Vulnerability is suppose to give freedom if we allow ourselves to be open. Else, we shut down opportunity, creativity, innovation and pleasant personal/self discovery.

Many times I have asked myself these two questions. Do I have the courage to crack open the mask? How much of a different shade of light can I allow into my world? A tool once helped me to take some positive steps.

Vulnerabilities Are Not Weaknesses Wherever They Are Boxed

The Johari model was created in 1955 by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. It is a simple tool for illustrating and improving self-awareness. The model is used to help individuals better understand themselves and how they are perceived by others. It can also greatly help mutual understanding between individuals within a group.

Open/Free Area: what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others.

Blind Spot/ Area: what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know. Aspects of ourselves we aren’t fully conscious of – our traits, values, actions, idiosyncrasies, habits, feelings, thoughts, etc.

Hidden Area/ avoided self or ‘façade’: what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know.

Unknown Self/ Area: what is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others.

The Johari Window Model has questionnaires that can be used on the self discovery journey.

Vulnerabilities Are Not Weaknesses, Imperfections Are Not Dead Ends, Do Not Hide Them

Though there’s a lot of power in vulnerability, the tendency for some is to hide their imperfections. But unless we open up ourselves, we may not likely be opened up to opportunities.

In a Charlotte Weekly interview with Nicole Peternel the CEO of Rein, she said, “People will tell me that they think I have it all together. I’m like ‘oh my gosh if you only knew,’” Peternel continues, “I have all of these things that I also struggle with. I think it’s important that, particularly as women, we know it’s ok that we share those things (that makes us vulnerable). Even if we don’t do it for ourselves, but to allow other women to be able to be comfortable doing (great things) as well.“

Not All Pains Give Gain, But No Pain, No Gain

We’ve all heard the term “No pain, No gain!”, but how true is this statement? Chiropractor’s constantly tell athletes that pain is their body’s way of telling them that something is wrong. It’s like the “check engine” light for the body. The more we ignore it, the worse the injury and dysfunction can become.

When we believe that we are worthy of connection, we are more likely to move towards others. When we lose opportunities, suffer relationship pains and constantly get group’s wrong end of the stick, it’s time to take a pause. The ‘body pain’ is saying something is wrong somewhere, and we have to fix it.

Athletes with a competitive mindset, despite their muscle sprain/strain and pain, may push on since having an injury may result in not being able to play a sport. However, most of the time it’s better to stop playing all together. Time may have come to seek proper care and treatment, than to cause more damage or aggravation of the injury.

Time has come for you to seek proper care and treatment of you. Don’t cause more damage or aggregation to your broken relationships and the weakened you.

Try and dare to connect, vulnerability is a key to close relationships.

Live with a tough heart, live with courage, try out a new ‘what if’. Discover a real you. Make what is unknown to you about yourself, known. Open up the ‘façade’. Let others know the beautiful and wonderful things only you know about yourself. Release, fly and soar!

When Life Breaks – It Brings Half Of White And Red

When Life Breaks - It Brings Half Of White And Red

When life breaks forth – it brings half of white and another half of red, the breaking forth of a song then follows.

When life breaks forth, Worklife starts and takes almost all of our Life. We are so dedicated or so afraid of losing that which we hold in our hands. Bills to pay, the privileges of a position. The communion of friends and colleagues at work.

A cherish mill, that makes sure the wheel of our social network and paying cards are well oiled and maintained.

Then, we dedicate so much of our existence and substance to work. Our emotions, our being, talent, strength, hope and faith. It becomes the whole essence of life, Worklife! No, working life. All of life then becomes all about working.

Not just the white collar office career work. Surely it is beyond the artisan or gig economy struggles. Don’t even classify it with the pursuits of career politicians. Or the drudgery and bureaucracy of civil service; local, national or international.

Hackers, fraudsters, traffickers, launderers, cheaters, liars and mere time miss-managers. All require a lot of work to do, cover up, explain or justify.

But it is just Half of Work and Half of Life. One leg of letter ‘W’ at Work and the other half enmeshed in L(ife). A Work-Life Logo.

Work-Life! It is birth in red, with the flow of cleansing blood, that spurns a child’s innocence in white. We get the ‘Feed’ and Worklife Digest it. It is a journey, Work-Life Feed.

You may also like, The Way We Were, All Of Us, Products Of The Way We Are

Innocence and Integrity Exposed, When Life Breaks

A birth in innocence, and how we should not forget that start. The gift of the blood. That is washed off as inconsequential to cleanse the baby; washing more than seen. As it washes open the rot behind the innocence.

A new human being is born. Who will this one turn out to be? Preferably, like you? No, like them or never like any of us!

A journey that was all glued in innocence. An assumed integrity that is exposed, once the blood that a baby is birth with is washed off. Exposed within hours. A cry, a request, a demand – and it just have to be all about the baby. Even when a treasury, a marriage, a relationship, a love is looted, or when a worklife enters into workplace battle field.

It has to be all about the big baby inside, now grown and coming out as the bigger human. A cry, a request, a demand, it just have to be all about the baby.

Nothing is birth, cleansed, healed or made perfect, except by and with the blood. A tear, a cut, a pain (no matter how much we’re tranquilized) must proceed the process. It washes away our innocence or pretense. Giving us an opportunity to reconcile.

We should not forget this; baby innocence never reaches adulthood, but the exposed hidden rot do. We should not forget it as a life lesson, even as we pursue greatness or get consumed with work. Welcome Worklife Feed!

MerryMates, Myfwl Editor

In The Eye Of Betrayal – What Do You Experience?

In The Eye of Betrayal

An eye for an eye, but not the eye of betrayal.

Even my close friend, someone I trusted from old,
One who shared my bread, my wine and my trust,
Has turned against me in my hour of dire need,
He who shared my bread has turned against me.
Heart of treachery, how can I respond to such pain?
When friends disappoint, where can we find comfort?
Should a friend close enough to share a meal, do such?
Was his betrayer so present, during my shared meal?

You may also like this, Work Infidelity Sabotages Careers And Love Relationship

How have you experienced the betrayal of a friend?
How has hope and love's reassurance sustained you?
I'm thankful that love is stronger than any betrayal.
In a friend's betrayal, I find strength in friend's love.
The song of he who betrays is sweet, deception is far.
His balm of healing soothe, a deadlier wound replace.
In your darkest hour, get help, not from Mr Betrayer.
He sweetens the bitter, makes the bitter a venom pool.

Check out, 13 Steps to Recover From Betrayal and How to Deal With Betrayal

Quote Diaries – Create Destiny Every Single Day

Quote Diaries - Create Destiny Every Single Day

Quote Diaries – Create Destiny

My dear friend, create destiny every single day.
I cannot imagine not creating one every life day. 
Not that it is very easy to do, each of every life day. 
But what is a life not lived to the full every life day?

RELATED POST: Slow down, taste life, create destiny every day

Top Ten Ways to Create Your Own Destiny

Are there ten ways to do this or Patrick Snow is just kidding? He wrote a book on the topic that is available on Amazon. Should that suggest that he might just have some ideas?

What are the top five passions in life?

What are your most audacious, boldest goals in life?

Do we control our own destinies? 90 percent of people think and act as if their destiny is foreordained, while only about 10 percent believe in the capacity to change and act on it.

“Put your own fate exactly where it belongs-in your hands”

Create your own destiny; plan, dream, and execute a better future-despite the challenges of the economy and life circumstances.

In Creating Destiny, Where is Family, Wealth and Health?

Put family ahead of work. No one ever found himself or herself on the
deathbed wishing they had spent more time at the office away from family. Wealth without health is not worth its weight in gold. Nevertheless, like John Addison, you need to “do today what others won’t do, so you can have tomorrow what others won’t have.”

Kevin Daum’s 7 Tips for Creating Your Own Destiny

Get up and be counted, that is the way the question sounds. Are you working on your life or just living in it? It is wrong to appear as a mere spectator on this crucial trip. Therefore, start the press up and heavy lifting, plan and execute life and career strategies worthy of your potential.

Get an accountability partner(s) but ignore the naysayers – This is someone or people you can engage on your preferred future. You should also be ready to commit to help them achieve theirs.

“If you want something bad enough, tell enough others what it is that you want. Sooner or later someone or something will show up in your life and help you get it.” — W. Clement Stone

Have preferred future birthdays as milestones for a review – This will be time to examine and discuss the details of every aspect of your lives, personal and professional, to achieve integrated success and happiness.

The game of life rewards the right players. We have a huge part to play in order to determine and obtain the life that truly makes us happy.

RECOMMENDED:

Where is your friend who makes you smile?

Where are your friends?

Where is your friend is not a question. It is a desperate voice, a deep longing from a friend. The one that walked away. The one you have not found. Who comes to mind? Go search now!

Where is your friend who makes you smile?
The one you pinch the face lovingly in approval.
With whom talk time, the clock cannot regulate.
Only sleepy eyes, weak voice, dare make talk fade.

If true friends always stay, who left without a cry?
Are the friends that leave, not meant to have been?
Is it part of the burden of living, hold, but not forever.
Especially precious life, not things bought and sold.

Where is your friend who makes you smile?
The special one with whom dreams and hopes live.
I did not prepare for day of departure or separation.
That mistake I will never make again with another.

If special friends leave, why do birds fly together?
Why do animals live in communities, without friends?
I saw the face, shared values, the mannerism, the love.
I knew this is who I want to connect with, as a friend.

Where is your friend who makes you smile?
The one you pinch the face lovingly in approval.
With whom talk time, the clock cannot regulate.
Only sleepy eyes, weak voice, dare make talk fade.

RELATED: I hired a friendship coach to help me make friends. Here’s what happened.

RECOMMENDED: Everyone that works in football and other professional sports sacrifices a lot of family time.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

MOST RECENT LIFE IN STYLE POSTS

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

« Older Entries