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The way we were, all of us, products of the way

5 Mins read

The way we were, all of us, products of the way we were raised. We get tickled, when we see it, us, in our siblings or offspring. But it frees us, if only, we can look, search, and understand, why…?

We are, all of us, products of the way we weren’t raised. Why we do what we do, the way we do it. Why we are, the way we didn’t hope to be, but who we now are. Take a breath, breath, and take in some air … You, all of you, are products of the way you were raised.

“Without that spirit of adventure, life can be a dull business”

Sol, your mother is a lucky woman, you talk to her, the way you are. You tell her your worries, what concerns you, dreams and your fears. Lucky family you have, families that talk, you all became closer daily. ‘Thanks for sharing your feelings’, she always say in her joy of sharing. Meg, you are absolutely correct, even friends like you can’t forget mum. We do say, thanks too mum for talking, even when the news is not good. And many times she reminds us both, to do as she have done for us all. That our kids needs good talk time with us, as much as we got from her.

The Way We Were That Lead Us To Where We Go And Who We Meet

When Biol and I met, we thought we have found our long missing ribs. The joy was exhilarating, finding love, discovering life, getting hope.
There is no doubt we had the greatest move of genuine love emotions. However, not all the times and seasons we spent and shared together, Was memorable for good and bad. Yet, they are memories stuck in us.
Both of us, products of how we were nurtured, short time revealed us.

Alas, maybe we may finally understand, how different we are, all of us.
I know we now understand, we were not the greatest completed puzzle.
I was not the man she idealized, when she fell in love with the real me. The pulls, the troubles, unable to live on the pedestal she erected for me
Never again to face her disappointment, over my decisions, the real me.

Our past is behind, new futures dance in hope. All that we both share,
Are remnants, missed sensations, lost opportunity, caged love, stories. And memories of Biol lives on. In both of us, showed, The Way We Were.
It produced our box-office success stories, drama, trauma and learning.
From ashes of failure, our soundtrack album, that became gold record.

“Our destiny is in the way we were born, in the way we were raised, in the sum of the three of us” — Eleanor Brown

Go Tell A New Story To The World The Way You Are

Go tell a new story to the world, crowd is waiting.
Fight for a new beginning with your life, it’s yours.
Roar like a wounded lion in pain, but still strong.
Discover your self, rarely will another find real you.
Command morning to smile and the night not to scare.
Choose victory and not defeat, player not a victim.
Warrior like you do know, if it has to be, it is up to you.

Mark said he relates with our story from several perspectives.
His own hurts and pains seems evidently replayed in Biol’s love story.
As he narrates his own story, I felt chills run through me, another us?
Give me a break, when will many understand how to break the cycle?

‘My parents were the same way, but we did not find the joy of talking. There was a day I called my parents, for reasons that I don’t remember. And my mother said, “Well, since you’re on the phone, I should tell you”
What she told me, I cannot repeat. I have dumped it into Titanic debris.
Do not cry, I said to myself, it is not the end, I can wake, new from ashes

When I had my son, I acted the same way like them, to “protect” him.
Help, no one understand, why we were, not the way they are. All of us, Products of others, how we were raised, missed sensations, caged love.


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I did not stop to think, I picked up the phone and called our mother. When she answered, I gave her all the facts, carefully, considerately.
Bang! I feel my voice rising, head swelling, blood pulsing in my head. “This has got to stop. You’ve created this crazy family where we never Tell each other anything. We’re meant to worry about each other!”
Mark’s story of that scene ended, he allowed a better scene to unfold.

We are who we are, because of the way we were made. We recognize that both genes, and the environment influence behavior. And because of the way the genes were made, and were raised. And so we, from the environment in which we were raised, we are who we are.

I looked at Biol, she didn’t glance over at me. “Well, you know,” I said. Treading carefully, “like, how it’s not really clear whether it was love,
What we have found, who we have engaged, in our new relationships.

Finally, Biol’s mouth twitched and she spoke. “How is it not clear?”
I realized she couldn’t see it, and maybe never, would never see it.
The way we were, all of us, products of the way we were raised.


The way we were created from early childhood – dangers and opportunities of the early years of a child

Develop your child early, it is very crucial as it sets the foundation for other lifelong events. This foundation is the strong base that every child need for lifelong learning and the un-wiring of other learning abilities, including cognitive and social development.

Experiences are shaped in the environment that a child is exposed to. While the depth of time in the right environment is key, we should remember that a single traumatic event can have adverse consequences. Early childhood experiences shape the brain, it mold’s the child’s capacity to learn. It dictates how the child will get along with others. And it creates the code that controls how the child responds to daily stresses and challenges.

Why early childhood nurturing is important

Create a nurturing environment for your child. It is a parent’s gift with high stakes. With a forced working from home, as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, parents have had a unique opportunity to mend broken edges.

An excellent caregiver can ensure that children’s good health and nutrition are well taken care of. Parent’s place in a child’s life, through interactions that are emotionally supportive and responsive cannot be replaced by a chat bot, Siri, Alexa and the like.

“Nurturing means more than giving your child food, shelter and clothing. It is about building a healthy and strong emotional relationship (attachment) between you and your child. Means being the person your child can count on for comfort whether he is a fussy infant or a toddler having a temper tantrum. It means being your child’s safe base. The person he can turn to for love, safety and security as he begins to explore the big world around him.” – New York State Parent Guide

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